Thank a Union

Headline Source: Reuters (Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:28 PM ET)
FORD TO CUT 25,000-30,000 JOBS

GM, Delphi and now Ford have laid off thousands upon thousands of workers, closed factories and destroyed communities. Thank a union!

How could I know at an instinctive, subconscious level, even back in high school that one day, the unions would destroy their employers, communities and themselves? How could a common-sense zit-faced boy in 1987 know this but the entire city of Detroit not? Huh?

I lived in Detroit (Redford) for only 5 years and saw the excess. I had to sell to union locals but had to park my Toyota Camry six lots away because “Foreign Cars Are Not Allowed On Our Lot”. Here is the sign they should have erected in the lot instead:

BUY OUR CRAPPY AUTOMOBLIES THAT BARELY MEET GOVERNMENT STANDARDS. WE KNOW YOU COULD BUY MUCH BETTER JAPANESE PRODUCTS, BUT SINCE YOU NEED TO SUPPORT OUR LIFESTYLE WITHIN THE SKEWED BUBBLE ECONOMY OF DETROIT, PLEASE DO NOT DRIVE YOUR FASTLY SUPERIOR TOYOTA ONTO OUR LOT THAT REMINDS US OF HOW LAZY WE ARE.

What do I know about the UAW?

Starting wages: Source: Detroit News 8/9/2005.
At major Detroit automakers, the hourly rate for an assembler is $25.57; a janitor starts at $24.98, and tool and die workers start at $30 an hour. Along with diamond studded benefits, retirement plans and golden parachutes, it is no wonder that the Big 3 cannot maintain the cost of production.

Worker Laziness
Not all but many workers for years have put in 8 hours on the clock, but not on the job. My dad drove a truck to deliver parts for the Big 3. If his truck was partially unloaded at break time, the workers would abandon my dad’s truck making him late for his other appointments. I’m sure many of you could tell much better stories than this.

Inefficiency
Many situations would go something like this:

1. Machine part breaks


2. Knowledgeable employee standing there knows how to fix it quickly


3. Knowledgeable employee is told “no”, the maintenance guy has to fix it and he won’t be in for 3 hours.


4. Knowledgeable employee (and crew) gets to sit until part is repaired.

My wife and I owned or drove the following vehicles:

1976 Chevy Vega – many great memories, but crap
1988 Dodge Colt - crap
1989 Pontiac Grand Am – crap, crap
1993 Mercury Villager - crap
1995 Ford Windstar – crap, crap
1998 Plymouth Grand Voyager - crap

NEVER, EVER will we again own a Big 3 vehicle. The materials, handling, look, reliability of these vehicles has been terrible. The workmanship of union hands is evident in all those cars. I would write our a repair and recall history of each union made vehicle, but there are not enough gigabytes on this computer to list them all.

We bought a new Toyota Camry in 1993 and it is still driving well past 230,000 miles. Over 9 times around the earth at the equator! That’s from the earth to the moon! Only if there was a road! Now we are happy owners of a 2005 Honda Odyssey which is marvelous beyond words.

Maybe the UAW will never get the message but I have. As long as the UAW hijacks the American automobile industry, people will continue to flock to superior made vehicles.

Ford should have changed their logo forty years ago. Here are some suggestions for what they SHOULD have made it:

“UAW Benefits are Job #1”
“We Meet Government Standards”
“Buy a Ford, Support a Democrat”

If Ford does survive the tapeworm effect of the UAW maybe someday they will aspire to quality being job #1.

Preface to Thank a Union

Preface to “Thank a Union” Post

My hyperbole on being right most of the time, as is a previous post, though funny to some, I’m sure is irritating to most --which is what I strive for, frankly. If there is some way for me to extract humor out of sarcasm or someone’s discomfort, I am happy. That is why girly men cannot read my blog. LOL

This is not to say that I am not woefully insufficient myself. Au contraire. Most people know me to laugh at myself for many things including my pear shaped physique, bald head, Farleyesque sense of humor and quick admission to being “an idiot” when I screw up.

So for those of you who do not know Marcus – the man, please take my biting wit with a grain of salt. While I admire and love Ann Coulter, I’m not really sure if she has another side (something other than bitingly hostile to liberals).

OK- on to my post.

Lazy Day of Summer

Lazy Day of Summer

The winds doth blow around my head
To carry forth the bug and petal.
The crickets lay upon their bed
And to this peace they settle.

The sound of a lonely day gone by
The grass and trees hold testament.
Of those that here did laugh and cry
To dream of a world in betterment.


This poem was written in the summer of 2004 in Hillman, MI as I was sitting in my car down a lonely dirt road and parked underneath a giant oak. It was my lunch break in-between fundraiser launches at a nearby school. Since then until today, this poem has remained in my notepad portfolio. I decided to preserve it here before the paper gets destroyed.

So Are We Going To Fight, Or What?

So Are We Going To Fight, Or What?

Maybe an analogy of America being the righteous nation naming its enemies would be that of the Israelites of the Old Testament.  Israel was the nation led by God for His purpose against the wiles of evil nations.

After all we are a nation that stands for universal righteousness in the area of freedom and justice.  We also believe that those things are universally true, “axioms” if you will.  For us, tyranny, despotism and fascism are immoral, intolerable scourges as we see them in Iran, Syria and North Korea.  But while the drumbeat of war against Iran gets louder, it does so with the pseudo apologies and nauseous explanations of the president.

When I turn to cable news or read the latest RSS feed on world headlines, I can’t read about the latest threat of Iran without the parenthetical “Islam is a peaceful religion” overtones.  Even our own Secretary of State and President are looking over their shoulders for the thought police.

When will Americans get a backbone and unapologetically proclaim “freedom and justice FOR ALL?”

Islam is in a tough spot.  Either it IS a religion of suicidal maniacs or it IS a religion hijacked by suicidal maniacs.  Where are the peaceful Muslims?  Where is their outcry?  Where are their armies?  Where are the peaceful Islamic governments?

The truth:  they are not there.  Islam is a false religion started by a false prophet.  It is only tradition that keeps it living.  Resentment against progress and industry is the result of a religion hell bent on keeping things the same as they have been for 2,500 years.

Back to my point- why can’t American officials act out of conviction instead political correctness?  Why can’t George Bush just state the obvious?—

Declare war on Iran, destroy the country, convert them all the Buddhists, then send in the Christian missionaries.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Al Gore's Kindergarten Speech

Al Gore’s Kindergarten Speech

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former Vice President Al Gore called Monday for an independent investigation of President Bush's domestic spying program, contending the president "repeatedly and insistently" broke the law by eavesdropping on Americans without court approval.

By LARRY MARGASAK
Associated Press Writer
1/16/2006

To negate every theme in Al Gore’s speech yesterday would be to clean the posterior of a housefly after each bowel movement over its 25 day lifespan.

That’s the Christian way of saying something else. But since this blog is read by beloved relatives and otherwise puritan souls, I'll keep my thoughts vague but picturesque.

Suffice it to say, more intellectual matter is emitted in a gaseous state after a curry dinner than what was muttered by the “the Gore”.

Ah, the Sun

Ah, the Sun

What a great week to get back on the road selling.  How refreshing to get in front of new people, out on the road.  How awesome to get new schools calling again.  How rewarding to hear Kaylee (6) reading her devotions tonight.

My, how exhausted I am again.  This is great!

Girly Men In Conservative Clothing

Girly Men In Conservative Clothing

I am thankful for good close friends here. Some of the many characteristics that appeal to me in close friends are the following:

• Very wide and irreverent sense of humor


• Loyalty


• Similar socio-political values

But something lately has been bothering me that I have absolutely no intention of revealing privately because it is really not that important in the grand scheme of things. But since this blog is essentially a diary, public though it may be, I feel the need to vent in this indirect fashion.

Some of these friends have a “namby-pamby” limp wrested approach to issues. For instance, take church praise songs. Is there such a thing? Some say “no”. Anything goes. The subtext here is fear of making a decision or taking a stand. To stand for something that others may find objectionable is too scary. Too “judgmental”. Too “narrow minded”. They wouldn’t be caught dead making a value judgment. These are akin to being a political moderate, looking for the position that will affect the least debate.

Another subject would be the inability of church leaders remedy situations of conflict within the church because they are fearful of ruffling feathers. They are fearful if they take a stand to fix something, they might be looked at as the “trouble maker.” So the problems go uncorrected and the plastic smiles perpetuate.

And finally, the people who are aghast that I would EVER drive over 70 MPH on the freeway or find out that I occasionally put my seat-belt on oh, 3 or 4 miles into my journey. These feminized males who look at me as though I have just violated a black handicapped Jewish gay female during Kwanza.

Sometimes I wonder about the sheltered life these grown men lead – their inability to experience anything outside of the cocoon their mommy and daddy built for them.

A truly good experience for any of these girly men would be to spend a little time in a 3rd world country for a few weeks. It probably wouldn’t produce a full conversion but would be a good start.

NWA - #2

Well, I made it back home- barely. Northwest Airlines is the bottom of the barrel. When they gave me two $5 meal vouchers for my “inconvenience” in Traverse City (9 hour delay- that is) I expected to be able to use one on the trip to Dallas and one on the way back.

Nada.

In Detroit on the way back home, I took the 2nd voucher up to get a sandwich and was it was rejected due the fact that the voucher is only good for 24 hours. So I went to a NWA agent and asked for it to be redeemed for a new one. Nope.

These employees have no power to affect happy customers even when it means thinking outside of their little box. Most of these employees are good people I’m sure, but the airline is just the absolute worst service organization I have ever experienced.

Dethawed and Overexaggerated

I listened to NPR news this morning on my way to the airport. The main topic at hand is the 12 coal miners that died yesterday (or very early this morning) in West Virginia. The big controversy is that at around midnight they were “found to be alive”, then when I woke up at 4:55 this morning they were all found to be dead.

The NPR man said that that original information had been “misconstrued” and miscommunicated. As I type this in Microsoft Word, these preceding two words have been underlined with a squiggly red line meaning that they are not in the dictionary.

Which is my point.

This coal miner story is an unspeakable tragedy but my topic at hand is of journalistic weakness and illiteracy.

This morning on Fox News, CNN and MSNBC (and NPR) all the talking heads spoke of a miscommunication. What is miscommunication?

• An error in the material communicated?


• A technical interruption of the material being transmitted?


• A swear word?


• Information that one didn’t mean to say?


• A fact that was once true but later became false?


• A lie?


• An involuntary bodily sound?

It turns out that the miners were dead. The headlines at midnight were FALSE. Not “miscommunicated”. FALSE.

The networks broadcasted a lie – pure and simple. Notice I didn’t say “they lied”. The news had not corroborated with authorities or with the source of the “they are alive” proclamation. Just like the cheering crowds behind them, the news organizations swallowed the story whole.

The second issue is meaningless words. If there is only one profession left in our society that demands proper vocabulary and grammar, shouldn’t it be journalism?

Forget public schools, proper English education disappeared decades ago. I would hope there would be just one place left that could preserve the English language properly, somewhere besides the Jeopardy show.

I sincerely hope that my oFten (with the “f” sound) repeatedly overredundant phraseology is making a dent and that I am not overexaggerating my point. I shall now enter the airport terminal and dethaw from the terrible cold.

Northwest Airlines: A Comedy of Errors

This post is an example of restraint. I could throw a tantrum here at the Northwest counter as I see others doing. But me? I have a blog.

We can put a man on the moon, experience wireless internet and make hydrogen powered cars, but can we can start an airplane, heck no.

OK let me make this as simple as possible. My flight out of Traverse City was supposed to leave at 8AM. We were all on the plane (SAAB turbo prop) but the engine wouldn’t roll over. So according to FAA guidelines they had one more attempt to use up before calling up maintenance. The second attempt didn’t work. So we deplaned.

Then after sitting at the gate for 40 minutes we were told the flight was cancelled and to go back to the front check-in counter and find out what to do.

While in line at the check-in counter I heard another announcement that a new power cable to fix the generator was being flown in and the plane should be ready to board by 11:15. Being that my connecting flight in Detroit is at 12:15 maybe I could still make the Dallas connection to be on time for my 5PM meeting.

Well right now it is 11:21 and I am looking out of these great big windows here in the waiting area and down below is a bunch of maintenance guys talking to each other, drinking coffee and laughing. The new cable is laying there on the luggage belt still spooled and untouched.

Yes, I believe the NWA maintenance folks are on strike, which brings up my thoughts on unions expressed in a previous post.

In the meantime another NWA flight to Detroit scheduled to depart at 10AM has left. We are still here. Does this make any sense? The folks with a later flight are already gone and we are still sitting here. Why didn’t NWA put us on that flight and make the other folks wait so we could spread the misery a little more equally?

With the hassles this morning I could be bought off with a free ticket or something, but NWA will do no such thing. “Because their policy dictates bla bla bla”.

I used to have a modicum of respect for NWA but at this point, after years of hearing horror stories and now experiencing one, I am switching.

I plan to buy one more NWA ticket after this to get up to my 25,000 miles so that I can earn a free ticket.

Then I’m gone.

///

Update: I arrived in Dallas at 8PM. Seven hours late.

NFL Football

NFL Football

OK- here I go again.  Another rant and this time I know that this will alienate almost everybody I know --even my own father and brother.  So I am fully ready to be blasted.  But this is my blog and as such I will move ahead.

I do not see what the fascination is with football in general and the NFL in particular.  By nature I am competitive as in my career and other areas – but I do not understand the TIME many sports fans invest in watching games, keeping up with stats and endlessly talk about it.  From what I see in many friends, it is a single-minded obsession.

I remember the 1987 Pistons and was tremendously excited about their streak of winning seasons.  I watched every game of the semi-finals and of course, the finals.  So in that respect I can get very excited about my home team or if there is an outstanding player that is just entertaining to watch (like Michael Jordan), I will tune in.

What I am referring to here is the time invested in the NFL’s regular season.  Hours and hours of watching TV and Fantasy Football clubs – it’s crazy.  I simply do not get it.  I would rather do woodworking, play with my kids, swim, write, read, play music, hunt, fish… WHATEVER!

But that is our culture’s call.  The NFL is the rallying cry around the water cooler.  It’s second most popular conversation starter, after the weather.  

I remember a class I took while in college, an introduction to cultural anthropology.  I didn’t particularly enjoy the class or the professor but he did teach me two things which I remember all these years later.  First, he taught me about the Namibian culture of southern Africa and secondly, about the intellectual futility of watching a group of men running around wooden floor for the sole purpose of getting a 12” ball of orange leather into a steel ring.

I mean think about it.  How desperate and unfulfilled must one’s life be to obsess with watching an inflatable elliptical pig skin crossing an imaginary line on the ground.

People are dying in Somalia for crying out loud.  At least go shovel the snow, mow the grass or do something useful for goodness sake!

Now I am not saying or implying that I do not have obsessions.  On the contrary, my obsession right at this minute is writing a useless blog that no one reads.  My personality demands that my obsessions move from one subject to another.  Ten years ago I was obsessed with hi-fi gear, then I was obsessed with computers, then cameras, then slide scanning, then fishing, then something else.  But they all had an end.  It was time to move on.


The simple fact is that I just don’t get the obsession about the NFL.  There have been many times that I had to question my masculinity with guys that were frothing over last night’s game.  Politics, weather –please anything other than who beat who last night.

My contributions to such conversations usually fall along the lines of “man, Adrian Dantley was a great free-throw shooter, wasn’t he?”  I get laughs, which is precisely how I deflect my ignorance.

The obsession with the NFL that I witness currently, concerns me in that it is all a break from reality – a total disconnect with real life.  You can enter the fantasy world of football and forget your job, your problems, et al.

I’m sure you would say back to me – “that’s the point!”  And to that I would have to admire you for being honest.

Maybe a better analogy would be to speak of my enjoyment of watching movies.  I do enjoy good a good flick on the big screen downstairs as much as Siskel and Ebert – but I have no desire to look up the actors on the internet to get their bios, film credits, educational background – nor do I wish to join their fan clubs!

I get plugged in for the movie then unplug after it’s done.  Isn’t that the way it should be done?  Hmm- maybe I am missing something.

I also think there is a spiritual issue with obsessing.  What is the difference between a subject of obsession and idolatry?  You tell me.

I can see your hackles, but that’s the way I see it.  

And what about this thing about watching every Lions game?  How can anyone watch the Lions week in and week out and not get clinically depressed?

I don’t get it.

Blog Retrospective

In revising this blog, it has come to be self-evident that most of the subject matter I have approached has come from a position of ire and would make me out to be of an unpleasant disposition. Clearly, for someone who has not held my acquaintance personally this would be a logical conclusion.

So let me state for the record, that I am a jovial, fun loving unpretentious lad who seeks world harmony. I shall in the future take it upon myself to explore the levity to which I also aspire.

Email Newbies

Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a woman named Mrs. Smith. She lived in a small house, in a small neighborhood, in a small town in the great big U.S.

Mrs. Smith was a baby boomer who one day decided that she needed to learn how to use a computer. So one evening while watching TV, Mrs. Smith saw a commercial on a video system to teach her how to use a computer. The man in the advertisement looked trustworthy and even promised to refund her shipping fee if she wasn’t satisfied.

So Mrs. Smith got her new computer and the local big box store and brought it home to set it up. After 13 hours on the phone with the support technician, she learned how to turn it on.

Lo and behold, there was this really neat thing called AOL on her desktop that was her ticket to the World Wide Web. WOW. Now Mrs. Smith could go explore the whole world at her fingertips.

Not too long later, Mrs. Smith heard the sound “You got mail” – which was really, really neat. It just sounded so personal, like someone was paying attention to her. Just the sound of “You got mail” seemed to give her significance. Every time it sounded it boosted her important self esteem just a little more.

It was so neat that people all over the world were sending her offers for quick college degrees, body enlargements, and chat partners genuinely interested in getting to know her. Wow – this was so neat!

But what was the neatest thing of all was that if an email that was really funny, or really cute, or seemingly significant– Mrs. Smith could send it to someone special with just the click of a button.

And not only one person- she could send it to EVERYONE in her address book!

Wow- now EVERYONE could experience the same joyous, ecstatic, revelational moment that Mrs. Smith had with just the click of a button.

But not only that! Mrs. Smith learned how to forward surveys and petitions to everyone. So now all could see how civically conscious she was.

There was the petition to:

• stop the genocide in Rwanda
  
• impeach Bill Clinton
  
• hug your teacher
  
• establish a new national holiday to honor Baby Boomers
  
• stop an internet tax
  
• pass a anti-spam law
  
• let every congressman in the Northern Hemisphere know your thought on abortion
  
• promote world peace
  
• eradicate AIDS
  
• cure cancer
  
• and stop global warming

But what Mrs. Smith REALLY loved was this brand new invention called the electronic greeting card.

No longer did she have to go down to the gift shop and actually spend money to buy a greeting card, actually WRITE in it then go through the hassle of mailing it.

Now she could just put someone’s email address on it – and SHAZAM- it was all done. These electronic greeting cards were so neat because they actually moved and looked SO CUTE.

Then Mrs. Smith sent EVERYONE an electronic greeting card which let them know how much she cared.

Well time passed, and soon all of Mrs. Smith’s friends were getting emails every day with some joke, thought of the day, greeting card or petition.

But Mrs. Smith didn’t realize that many of her friends were ones who had been using computers beginning in grade school.

These non-Baby Boomer friends, were not enamored of the concept of email. For them, it was a normal form of communication that can easily be used and potentially misused. After all, they understood that since people use their email every day for business and pleasure it was a tool to be used prudently.

Soon the recipients realized that it was rare if ever that they got a real and personal message from Mrs. Smith. So they decided for the sake of keeping their INBOX clean, to simply relegate Mrs. Smiths email address to the spam catcher and she was never heard from again.

The end.

If it’s not worth putting a stamp on—it’s not worth emailing!

Koran vs. Bible – A Moral Equivalence?

In a rush to remove an hint of religious “discrimination” following the mass murder of September 11, 2001, voices from the left clamored to defend Islam as peaceful. The apparent goal was to remove Islam as a mitigating factor in the zeal to “kill the infidels”. That’s right- Islam had nothing to do with 9/11. According to the popular media, these were just crazed lunatics with absolutely no motivation other than an unpleasant disposition.

But for the record- all of the terrorists on 9/11 were devoted followers of Islam.

Racial profiling has become a sin second only to killing an endangered species. Many would have us believe that Islam is inherently neutral and equal to Christianity. So it has been implied that we have no right to discern Islam culture, tradition and dogma in fighting the war on terror.

But not only has there been a rush to defend Islam, but there also continues to be a persecution of the Christian faith in public culture (exposed in Persecution by David Limbaugh). Over the past thirty years, Christians have been told to give up their faith in public schools and court buildings. Praying in public has become equivalent to the public consumption of tobacco products – cursed and repudiated by the left.

In fact, the American political system and military does not proselytize the Bible or the Christian faith - even though a majority of Americans do profess a belief in the God of the Bible. We seek not to conquer and convert as most Islamic countries have done even to this very generation.

But the latest incarnation of this bias against Christianity is the situation in Gitmo prison in Cuba. Dick Durbin opened his mouth on the floor of the U.S. Senate this past Friday and equated the Gitmo prison to "Nazis, Soviets in their gulags or some mad regime — Pol Pot or others."

But on closer look the American military took great measures to respect the Koran and Islamic traditions of these illegal combatants. According to reports, these measures included:

• Providing Korans to detainees
• Wearing gloves to handle the Korans
• Providing proper Islamic food
• Allowing these combatants to practice their religion

These are all activities that would have the ACLU filing lawsuits if practiced in any American public school.

The Democratic party has been highjacked by the most liberal and extreme of their party. No longer is it a noble party that represents the people as it once was under John F. Kennedy. It has become a party that seeks to undermine our national security and seeks to find constitutional rights for foreign terrorists.

The hypocrisy on the left is building towards a breaking point. The only question now is when the liberals will implode upon themselves.

Evolution Hallelujah!

Evolution is a massive religion. A religion preached in textbooks, atlases, kids books and classrooms.

The theory of evolution is unproven and unprovable. The theory it self has become scientific fact for generations of zombies unwilling to question anything coming from state run schools. These are the same people who would believe in the authenticity Rathergate memo and the danger of Ford gas tank explosions. These are the same people who believe that we will all die as a result of global warming. And that 2nd hand smoke is the biggest threat to health in the universe.

No lie is big enough to reject for these closed-minded believers.

I am not a scientist, theologian or historian but I do possess a modicum of common sense (thanks to my parents). But last time I checked, evolution is simply not provable - therefore not scientific.

So then WHY does my new 2004 Illustrated Atlas refer to evolution, the "Big Bang", pangea and "billion and billion of years" as ALL FACT?

Anyone who is willing to put a a fleeting thought into the Big Bang would ask- What existed before the Big Bang? What elements caused the Big Bang to occur?

STOP - no changing the subject, no distractions, no calling me a religious fanatic, no dodging the question.

Hmmmmmmm? I hear crickets!

There- you see. There had to be a CREATOR. There are no other options! That's it. Case closed. Gavel dropped!

All you leftist hippies and secular humanists have lost the argument. The plain and simple truth is that you reject Intelligent Design because you reject that there just may be someone else out there that is smarter that you.

Yes, for there to be Intelligent Design there must be a DESIGNER. Now for me it happens to be God. But for you it may be Howdie Doody or David Koresh. Who knows it could even be Bill Clinton if that's what you want.

So I long for the day when all this evolution garbage is destroyed once and for all. When common sense can get a majority vote in this country.

But it won't happen until public education decides to embrace logic, science and truth and present all theories as faith and only faith.

Yasser Arafat -- Father of Terrorism

Today the Father of Terrorism died a quiet death.

He was not a good or decent man.

2004 Election Scorecard

THE LOSERS

1. Michael Moore
2. George Soros
3. Air America
4. Al Franken
5. Al Gore
6. The New York Times
7. CBS
8. NBS
9. ABS
10. CNNBS
11. The Dixie Chicks
12. Linda Ronstadt
13. Eminem
14. P Diddly Dipcrap “for brains”
15. Michael Moore
16. Elton John
17. Jacques Chirac
18. Jean Chrétien
19. Michael Moore
20. Theresa “Shove It” Heinz Kerry
21. John “Flip Flop” Kerry
22. The “Breck Girl”
23. Joe Lockhart
24. Paul “The Forehead” Begala
25. Michael Moore
26. Evan Thomas
27. The Los Angeles Times
28. Massachusetts
29. Rhode Island
30. Every American with a Kerry-Edwards sign in their yard
31. Michael Moore
32. Baby Murderer advocates everywhere
33. Osama bin Laden
34. Michael Moore
35. Saddam Hussein
36. Bruce Spreengsteen
37. Michael Moore
38. Ben Awfulfleck
39. Michael Moore

THE WINNERS

1. United States of America

Red States - Sic 'em

Be patriotic.

Kill the Smurfs.

Be red and proud.

God Bless America.

Half

Half of everyone you know is an idiot. Clinically insane.

Who Should Vote?

I propose a new law.

Only landowners with a minimum education of a GED should vote.

Yes- A single Issue CAN tell me how Jesus would vote.

This article, in christianitytoday.com got me mad.

In an effort to sound fair, to provide a "devil's advocate" position - this unnamed editorialist say's that we should not be single-issue" voters.

Wrong.

Any candidate who believes in the MURDER OF UNBORN HUMAN BEINGS, is evil, morally bankrupt and not capable of ethical leadership.

Period.

The Obsolescence of Big Media

CBS, NBS and ABS have done it again. Proved that they are no longer competitive in the news cycle.

It is 7:25 AM on Thursday, October 28, 2004. I logged on to Drudge first thing this morning and saw the large headline:

"Russia tied to Iraq´s missing arms; Pentagon: Weaponry relocated before war "

Then for giggles went to msnbc.com, cbsnews.com and abcnews.com to see what they had on this shocking proof exonerating President Bush on this "missing weaons cache" story - or the "October Surprise".

THERE WAS NOTHING! NOTHING - for all things holy!

Democrats cannot win legitimately! They have NO ideas, NO plan, NO vision, NO optimism and John Kerry is their front man.

Kerry has been shooting off his mouth the last few days about how Bush lost the weapons. This is an direct lie. And Kerry knows it. And now the proof is in - and the egg will today be on Kerry's face!

Kerry hates America, he hates winning a war against terrorism. He hates decent people. He hates, hates, hates. And his ONLY chance of getting a plurality in any poll - and better yet - THE VOTE is by lying and slander.

If you vote Democrat in this election - you are UN-American.

OK- Kerry is right, I'm an Idiot!

I thought Kerry was soft on guns. He has voted overwhelmingly against gun owner rights throughout his career.

But I just saw him hunting geese on TV so – I was wrong. He is a big time gun rights guy.

I thought Kerry was pro-choice because he voted five times AGAINST the partial birth abortion ban.

But he said he was a devout Catholic and was an alter boy. And although he personally doesn’t like abortion, he can’t “force” his beliefs into public policy.

Man – I really bought all that right wing crap about Kerry being a flip flopper! But this morning I saw the light. Bush is a liar – A LIAR!!

There IS no terrorist threat! Iraq was a mistake!

BUSH LIED! He misled us! I hate him! Hate him! Yeah!! HATE!

Bush STOLE the election in 2000! He is responsible for global warming, stock market declines, terrorism, gas prices and my hemmoroids.

I was an idiot. I AM AN IDIOT!

I can’t bear my shame. (weeping) I HATE BUSH.

I’M GAY. YES – DARN IT – I’M GAY. I CAN’T STAY IN THE CLOSET ANY MORE. I HAVE TO LET IT FREE.

FREE – FREE AS A BIRD. IT WAS ALL BUSH’S FAULT. I BELIEVED IN GOD – BUT NOW I CAN SEE THAT GOD IS NOT REAL. IT WAS JUST A CRUTCH OF MY IMAGINATION. IT WAS A PERSONAL BELIEF BUT I CAN’T USE THAT CRUTCH ANYMORE.

ABORTION IS GOOD AND MORAL. IT’S A WOMANS CHOICE. WOMANS CHOICE DARN IT! ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Liberals don't understand....

...the nature of evil.

Thank God for Algore!

Keep it up Al! The red face, the rigor mortis physique. The growling, screaming tantrums. (picture on the 9/13/04 Drudge Report headline)

You aren't full hate, are you, Al? Resentment? Anger?

You aren't resentful that W. beat you in 2000 are you, Alley boy?

Naw, poor little Alley boy, tsa, tsa, tsa. A little jealous are we? That the country thanks God that W. is in office. That on 9-11 Juliani turned to Bernie Kerik and said "Thank God that George Bush is in the White House".

But keep it up, Al! You are entertaining me. You are a kook and an example to me and my kids on why they will NEVER VOTE DEMOCRAT.

hahahahaha

I'm Usually Right

I’m usually right

Maybe I need to sit on a thought for two or three days, but usually at the end – I am right.

If I am to be wrong, then I’m deliberately wrong. Like when I eat a Kit Kat before watching a movie at 7PM. Then I’m wrong in eating the Kit Kat – but I’m right in knowing that I’m wrong.

When I listen to pompous people, I know they are pompous. I’m right.
When I listen to ignorant people, I know they are ignorant. I’m right.
When I listen to Bill O’Reilly be “fair” at the expense of being correct. I’m right.

Regarding politics I am right. Very “correct” that is. (Which happens to be “not left” but right). I listen to NARAL protesters, Planned Parenthood, gay marriage advocates, anti-war demonstrators and know that they are all wrong. And I’m right.

It is universal truth that they are wrong. Not just in my “own world view” context. But right about the fact that their views are universally God ordained as being wrong.

I’m very comfortable in knowing I’m right. No conflict whatsoever. I sleep well and wake up refreshed. And brew a fresh pot of coffee. I know that brewed coffee will make me happier than instant coffee. I’ve tried instant – and I am right.

Cremora sucks. Have you tried Cremora in instant coffee? Use half & half instead, and use it in brewed coffee. It’s a day and night difference? Yes it is. I am right.

When I talk to God and feel distant --because of my sins, I’m usually right about that. But I know that God is probably listening to me anyway because of His grace.

Now wait. There was the time that I was deceived for a couple of months by this guy I thought was my friend. But he lied to me about little things – like: he was a former country music singer, ran a drug deal to Florida and got busted, knows a guy who works for the government who knows how to alter DirecTV cards so you can get all the channels. I was wrong about him. I just tried to be friendly to him and bought all his garbage casually.

OK – chalk one up on the “wrong” side.

But on most other things I’m right. Here is a list of things that I know for a fact:

1. God is real and is annoyed by liberals
2. "Chick flicks" are ok with a mind altering drug
3. Abortion is the worst crime against humanity. Worse than the Nazi death camps, Saddam’s crimes against the Kurds and the Boxer Rebellion.
4. Vegetarians think they are better than other people
5. Pompous 2nd generation rich people are very annoying. Strike that. All pompous people are annoying.
6. Artists don’t rely on their intellect for success.
7. God created the universe. And God created me.
8. The only thing that evolved from monkeys are liberals.
9. Anyone willing to call themselves a Democrat, is associating with a Party that endorses abortion and is therefore unethical.
10. Ugly people can live a fulfilling life if they are nice

Fairness vs. Correctness

Ann Coulter wrote eloquently on a matter that has been on my mind for a while now. Bill O’Reilly’s desire to be fair but not principled. He desperately wants to be viewed as independent- even if he has to sacrifice being right.

That’s where he gets in trouble.

The swift boat vets have a right to speak openly about their views of John Kerry. There is no “in-between”. Since our 1st Amendment to the Constitution protects speech, they may speak freely.

Bill boy O’Reilly doesn’t want to join the “partisan right” and risk being labeled a conservative, so once again in the name of “fairness” he wants to come down somewhere in the middle. Somewhere between free speech and no free speech.

And, unfortunately for Bill, instead of appearing to be fair, he now appears to be an invertebrate.

The swift boat vets have a right to speak freely – and with that – there is no in between.

It’s OK to be right, Bill. It may dent your ego but, trust me, people will respect you for it.

2nd Generation Rich People

Ok - time to get this off my chest. A little American rebellion here.

There are few things in life that annoy me like pompous 2nd generation rich people. Pompous people in general annoy me, but 2nd generation pompous rich people take the cake.

I admit that 2nd generation rich people have to work harder at being normal than 1st generation rich folks – but when you combine lots of money with a person that inherited it, you usually end up with a pompous 2nd generation pompous rich person.

If I were publishing a newspaper I could get in trouble here- but since I’m pretty sure that no one reads this blog, let me name a few of these companies or enterprises with 2nd generation pompous rich people at the helm.

World’s Finest Chocolate
Ford
Frank Sinatra Jr.’s Orchestra
Al Gore
Kim Jong Il – aka. “The Pot Belly Pig” aka. "The Supreme Leader of starving his People"

I am right this minute listening to local radio station in Gaylord. Speaking now is a 2nd generation pompous rich person. And yes – I’m annoyed.

This particular 2nd generation pompous rich person is being heralded as a great cornerstone of our community who donates gobs of his deceased dad’s money. Whoopee! What noble act. Getting to spend his dad’s money.

He has inherited a utility company which shall go nameless. And these local utility stations charge a premium price for what it dispenses. At least $.10 more per gallon than any surrounding community, in fact. But I shall not divulge the type of utility to allow for proper anonymity. But will say that I have to pay $2.03 per gallon for the cheap stuff.

But he always claims to charge more because he is “giving back to the community”. How nice.

I am part of this community. Why isn’t he giving back to me?

But back to me general point. I have seen company after company get screwed up through 2nd generation wannabees.

On the other hand I greatly admire first generation business owners – they had to risk everything to build what they had. Second generation people have to sacrifice little if anything.

I admit, it is very hard for me to respect a 2nd generation rich person, but it can be done. There are several other people in this community that are 2nd generation and rich – but they handle themselves with modesty and dignity.

Actually, one of those dignified individuals is the brother of the pompous one I referred to before. Although he has all the toys and perks of being rich without working for it, he is humble and has what I believe to be a pure heart. He puts other people above himself and is a great man. Here are more that have done so nobly:

Natalie Cole
George W. Bush (he may be rich but he’s not arrogant)
Franklin Graham
Ryan Dobson

So lest I condemn all 2nd generation rich people to soon let me be the first to say I can be open minded here.

So if you are a 2nd generation rich person, please don’t be pompous because you didn’t earn a penny of what you have. Just be humble, quiet and smile a lot. And if you are terribly bored with all that money – I’ll take some.

Swift Boat Vets Are Angry for a Reason

Today I went to c-span.org to watch the 1971 Dick Cavett debate between John Kerry and John O'Neill regarding Kerry's accusations that America was committing "war crimes" in Vietnam.

All I need to say - is that if you want to see media bias at it's worst - watch it.

The audience sounds like it was screened in favor of John Kerry. The condescension of John Kerry towards John O'Neill in the debate was frustrating enough for Mr. O'Neill to commit a lifetime of effort to discrediting Kerry. I would have, too.

I believe the swift vets. They are completely credible and their charges are backed up by facts. They have not changed their story (ala Kerry) and have many men agree on details of John Kerry's dishonorable service.

I have concluded that Kerry was and is an opportunist and who was planning his political future during his entire 4 months in Vietnam.

The accusations of the swiftboat vets is devastating. If this doesn't cause pause amongst those who would vote for Kerry, I would be dissappointed.

President Bush in Traverse City

I decided to go see President George W. Bush today in Traverse City along with my nine year old son, Kellen.

It was quite an experience seeing all the people (12,000 plus) that came out to catch a glimpse of him. The rally, which took place outside of the Civic Center, could barely contain all the people there. The crowds were very well behaved and the patriotism in the air was, well, moving.

Although the two-hour wait to see the President was worth it, once he started his stump speech I figured it was time to make my way home. After all, it sounded like the same speech he has given a million times before. We could hardly see him from our position because people in the VIP seats were standing and blocking our view. Besides we were tired and wanted to start the two-mile trek back to the car.

Which is when the fun started.

First, I saw Karl Rove, W’s chief strategist, no more that 20 feet from me. He was chatting with another cabinet member and I almost mustered up the courage to say “hi Mr. Rove” but chickened out. That was cool.

Then as Kellen and I made our way toward the gate, we noticed S.W.A.T. on top of buildings with guns and binoculars, surveying the perimeter. That was cool.

Then we got to the gate only to find that “because of security reasons” we were not allowed to leave until after W’s speech. That was not cool. But we got to look at liberal loony leftists protesting. This liberal loony guy outside the gate was taking pictures of us. He had a long hair and a beard, sandals and a tie-dye shirt. Some guy beside me yelled, “Hey look! Jesus is taking pictured of us!” That was funny.

Finally we escaped and had to walk through loony land to get back to the car. That was the most educational for Kellen. The lesson for him was “WHY NOT TO BE A LIBERAL”.

Holy cow. Talk about low-rent, maggot infested, dope smoking, good-time, rock-n-roll, degenerate, malcontent, pessimistic, pro-baby murdering, lesbo loving, sandal clad, dread lock matted, motley crew.

My simple talk to my nine-year old was the following:

Democrats and liberals are the same thing. They want to take away your money through a thing called taxes. They think if you talk nice to terrorists, they will go away. They believe that most Americans are stupid. And they believe in killing unborn babies.

Republicans and conservatives are the same thing. They want you to keep more of your own money. They believe that there are good guys and bad guys. And the bad guys should always be defeated. And they believe in life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.

Kellen agreed. Job done.

Otsego County Prosecuting Attorney Election 2004

Results:

Kyle Legel 3,111 53%
Kevin Hesselink 2,100 36%
Mike Rola 624 11%


I’ve heard it done in other times and other places-- voting someone into office by voting out another. But this was my time and place. My opportunity to make the right vote at the right time, but still it wasn’t enough. I even went beyond my normal civic involvement and actually attended a public forum to hear out all three candidates for prosecuting attorney. And the decision was oh, so obvious. But it wasn’t enough.

While I sat at the Township hall and listened to their qualifications, track record and vision there was one candidate that clearly stood above the rest.

Of the three candidates, Legel was my choice to share a cigar on the golf course, but not for prosecutor. He was oh so green. But maybe that’s just me – I’m 35 and he’s 31. Maybe I’m just getting old. But his demeanor was oozing of inexperience a puppy dropped into the middle of a big lake. He was just trying to make it out without looking bad. It was slightly painful.

My only comment on Mike Rola is that upon listening too his snappy rhetorts, I have determined that I would rather be covered with angry African stinging bees getting a root canal with a spoon, then to watch this guy engaged.

But over six hundred successful prosecutions (and less than 5 unsuccessful ones) had no bearing on a successful verdict for Mr. Hesselink. It was determined on two, JUST TWO unpopular decisions and a funding issue which I do not completely understand. But that was enough for him to get railroaded by a motivated electorate who are propelled by their feelings instead of the law.

This is precisely why I have come to respect Kevin Hesselink so much. He can really unemotionally follow the law. What a concept! No emotional appeals, no slick Willy, no politics – just a darn good prosecutor.

What ever happened to changing the law, instead of changing a good prosecutor? If Otsego County is unhappy with the laws on the books (the ones Hesselink is enforcing) then CHANGE THE LAWS -- or the people making those laws. Upholding an oath is not always easy, especially in the public spotlight. But Kevin Hesselink has done so quite nobly.

Lord knows I have made my share of mistakes in my job, but I am fortunate enough to not be under a microscope or beg for my job every four years. Having observing Kevin Hesselink for the past three years, I have come to know that he is very thoughtful, smart and studied. Not a gregarious or talkative person by any stretch, but always polite and decent.

Kyle Legel is clearly a decent man and I hope that he is successful here. Let it be clear though that he was elected not on his own virtue and experience, but because people wanted Hesselink out. It was a negative vote for Kyle Legel.

I would have hated to be a bad guy facing Hesselink, but now Otsego county looks a little easier to mould. Deep down, I’m not optimistic on law and justice in this county for the next four years.

Maybe Kyle Legel can prove me wrong and I hope he does.

Mark Douglas
Gaylord, MI

Next to Ruin Career.......Linda Ronstadt

Well, we've seen the Dixie Chicks get pecked, Bono has been de-boned, Elton has been further marginalized. So you would think that these self absorbed singers would get it. Don't tell us about your liberal political views - because you immediately loose half of your fans!

But these singers aren't paid to use their brains, so here they go again.

Linda Ronstadt has now stuck both her feet into her mouth. I actually liked her. Years ago I bought a 2-CD set of "Round Midnight" which are beautiful Nelson Riddle standards. Actually a very good performance. But from now on - I will never be able to listen to her voice without punching the CD player. I simply won't be able to listen.

For those of you not familiar - she recently went on a tirade against George W. Bush at a concert at the Aladdin Casino in Vegas. In an interview she actually said, "It's a real conflict for me when I go to a concert and find out somebody in the audience is a Republican or fundamental Christian. It can cloud my enjoyment. I'd rather not know."

Amongst other pap, she stated, "I've been dedicating a song to him [Michael Moore]– I think he's a great patriot – and it splits the audience down the middle, and they duke it out."

For more of her idiocy go to: http://www.signonsandiego.com/uniontrib/20040715/news_lz1w15linda.html

Well Linda, you said you like to "split your audience down the middle". Well for me - I'm going to cut and run. As for you Linda - you are now in the "has-been" wasteland.

Seeya!

I don't like hummingbirds

Hummingbirds rally irritate me. People think they are cute but they scare me. I sit on my deck bothereing nobody. They dive at me like kamikazee scaring the sand out of me.

But it is REALLY hard to shoot one with a .22.

Torture Away

A million people are about to die. It will take approximately 3 hours for the toxins to do their job, but there is no stopping it. Once the odorless and invisible gas makes its way through the office buildings, schools and homes all will be doomed.

But there is a man who knows it is about to happen. He was privy to the plot from its inception. He is being held at a United States prison camp where he has been detained.

He chuckles silently and he knows bin Laden will heap praise on him and the other perpetrators. The virgins are waiting.

Only if he can fool these American soldiers long enough the deed will be done.

What should the soldiers to the man? Beg for information? “Please – please Abdul Raqmann, pretty please with sugar on it – please tell us where the gas will be released and when.”

No.

////

Sound fictional? What if it’s not? Who do you think the Abu Ghraib prisoners were? They weren’t Boy Scout leaders folks! They had been killing Americans and peace loving Iraqis.

Blind folded? Lying naked on other naked people? Having dogs bark at them? Electrodes on the genitals? This is bad? Nope. Humiliating? – ok, maybe. An abridgment of justice- no way.

I may be the only person in America NOT apologizing for the Abu Ghraib scandal. I think the U.S soldiers were TOO civil. The media has a way of shaping peoples opinions, but I refuse to be shaped.

You can’t deal with terrorists via the legal system – to which they don’t subscribe. They are people without laws, without conscience, without goodness. The nature of evil is unknowable to most Americans. But it must be dealt with nevertheless. The rules of warfare are kill or be killed. These terrorist prisoners gave up whatever rights they possessed when they became terrorists. Electrodes on the genitals should be a blessing compared to what they deserve.

Here is one method I might use. Fill a large vat 12 inches deep with fire ants. Place the detainee into the vat naked. Make him sit there for two hours and teach him to sing “Onward Christian Soldiers” as loud as possible while the ants nibble.

OK – I can’t go on. But my point is that we should do WHATEVER IS NECESSARY to prevent attacks on Americans.

Abu Ghraib is a sight that we don’t want to behold. Because we really don’t know evil – we are just not familiar with evil as it exists in the Middle East. We are unfamiliar with war. And these pictures are repulsive to us because we are so sterilized and naïve as pop culture Americans.

It’s time to stop being “outraged” at Abu Graib and start being “outraged” at the terrorists.

Queezy

Wound up and twisted around
Bent out of shape and in a tizzy
Gassing in a small enclosed corner
Tied upside down and really dizzy.

Stirred and shaken like liver bacon
About to urp and really queasy
Thinking of a time on a wave
Hurling now would be quite easy

Meazly corn and beans and peas
Churning away to make me say
That I could barf now but maybe wait
For the next blessed moment for which I pray

To be let go from this awful torment
And thinking of the spice that tempted me
And the ribs who called my name
But now – hold on – let me flee

To the ceramic paradise of all things holy.

Unisom Dreams

The twixt is turned and the twine is twisted
To think of going back is a waste of time
To the demented decisions of a youthful man
Looking for his dog that ran away into the woods.

To come into the present and think of a way
Looking back to the future to avoid Mr. Fox
And be scared by the very thought of myself
Appearing before a jury of my peers and thinking

Loving to look at the wasted dreams
Of love forlorn to far away places of nightmares
Wiffing perfumed weed to allow the mind to wander
To the caffeinated hull of the ship Lucia.

Words sporadically entering the mind to flow
Through the pen of the keypad clicking away
Furiously thinking of what to do
And how to avoid the curious implications

And hoping that soon the earthly sands
Enter in and pass without
Or offer love and deep refrains
To Miles and the men who float below the surface

Of a wasted brain.

Letter to Senators Levin and Stabenow- Beheading of Paul Johnson

In response to the Paul Johnson beheading in Saudi Arabia I found the words of President Bush to be rehearsed and empty. They seemed too diplomatic and canned. We all assume that a red-blooded American would be "outraged" at this "act of barbarism". Duh?

It's time to unite. As Americans we need to put aside our political differences and become one in fighting this insane enemy. It is no longer about what differences we Americans have about the war in Iraq – we are being assaulted for the very fact that WE ARE Americans.

So I urge you to persuade the leaders that have the power to respond to these attacks on American civilians --with brute and unrelenting force. Innocents will die as in all wars, but all solutions must be considered in dealing with these Al Qaida terrorists.

My anger has been steeped by these images of Nicholas Berg and now Paul Johnson. Apply all diplomatic force on the Saudi government – yes, but don’t then assume that it will cure the problem.

NPR - For the Public?

By Mark
a listener in Northern Michigan

Well, I got to listen to my local NPR fundraising drive this morning.

And once again I was struck by the generosity of the listening public giving to an already publicly funded institution. Now our local guys are great, don’t get me wrong. They are giving me the news and weather and speaking at their usually benign level as to not frighten me before I’ve had my coffee. Of course, with the dry humor and slightly Shakespearean lexicon.

In an effort to boost fundraising donations, the “seven o’clock folks” were encouraged to out-give the “six o’clock folks”. Which is all good – but it got me thinking about the whole notion of why I would donate to an entity which already confiscates part of my income.

I am a lover of fine music. From Joplin to Miles and from Monteverdi to Stravinsky I love the arts programming. NPR certainly is filling a demand in broadcasting great stuff. But I have a flaw. I’m a conservative. While the music and prose of NPR is outstanding, the news shows are dominated by left leaning journalists (mainly at the national level). How do I know this? The same way I know that water is wet.

I regularly attempt to listen to broadcasts of Morning Edition, All Things Considered and other news related shows in the morning. During my commute NPR is really the only thing I can tolerate before 10 AM – given the choices of local trash “talk duets” on the rock stations and other like idiots whose topics obsess on the trivial. But the NPR news bias is overwhelming. And it’s clear to clear-thinking people. Conservatives are almost always cast in a suspicious light whether being interviewed or talked about. This is a fact and obvious. The water is indeed wet.

The problem is the inherent disconnect between balanced programming for the public (as in National PUBLIC Radio) and NPR’s 1967 charter, which is to develop “programming that will be responsive to the interests of the people”. But NPR news programming is not primarily about the interests of ALL people. It is about the interests of LIBERAL people. And for people like me, the daily barrage is quite simply – insulting.

Public funding for NPR is not hurting. In the first session of the 107th Congress (FY’02 budget cycle), the Corporation for Public Broadcasting received a $380 million appropriation. Recently, Congress approved a $390 million funding level for fiscal year 2005. All of this funding, under the Presidency of George W. Bush, a Republican Senate and Republican House. How ironic?

But instead of getting thanked, this morning I’m asked for another handout! So after listening to Garrison Keillor's "The Writers Almanac", I’ve been inspired to write a poem.

Spinning, turning the dial of a vast and random noise
My head spins with delirium begging for consonance.
A chord, a phrase, a scale, some fair minded information
To me, a public starved in his daily commutation.

What are my chances of Garrison Keillor reading this on his show? I didn’t think so.

Great Lakes Energy - Letter to cancel propane service

I enjoyed reading your “Comment” page in this months Country Lines. I found your plea to “delay further implementation of customer choice until 2008” fascinating. Our personal experience with GLE has been horrible on two fronts: terrible internet service and terrible propane service. Bad internet service due to continual disconnects and bad propane service due to GLE refusing to re-fill our tank during the coldest week this past winter after paying our bill in full. Upon return from Florida in February ice had formed in our toilet bowls. Your customer service representative kindly let us know that a propane refill would not be available for another “one to two weeks”. When I called to cancel the propane service- your customer service rep did not even bother to ask why we were leaving. Although our electric service has been fine with GLE – I am looking forward to the day when we can switch due to the failure of GLE in the other two areas.
Also a thank you for introducing our family to two companies who provide excellent service with both propane service and internet access. I pay more for both services but happily so. I would not even consider switching from Spectrum Communications of Gaylord (internet) and Gaylord Gas (propane) after the excellent service we have received.
I find this electric monopoly despicable and would respectfully advise GLE to put their customers first if they have any hope of longevity. Mr. Peters, I am sure you are a good person with good intentions – but you need to know that your article drew my ire and maybe you can pass our situation on to the powers that be. We are lost customers – but maybe you can save a few more in the future.

Speeding Ticket Letter

Dear Judge-

I was pulled over for speeding yesterday on M-32 eastbound towards Alpena. The State police officer, Sgt. Collier, was very courteous and professional and I appreciate that.

The only explanation for my speeding is that I had not completely slowed down after passing a garbage truck. The smell of the garbage truck had been bothering me for a while and finally decided to pass it. That does NOT excuse my speeding, I understand that. But figured I would explain this to the court anyway.

Thank you for your time.

P.S. They took $10 off the fine – but I still had to pay $60.

Rap from T-Bone: "Everythings Going To Be Allright"

Problems, troubles, trials and storms will come your way, Jesus offers love and wants to wipe your tears away.

I know this world got ya feelin down, bound by the problems and troubles of life, full of strife, pain and misery, looking for true peace, love and happiness that you can’t find in drugs, sex or Hennessey, --but come along with me, if ya wanna hear about the One that healed the sick and made the blind to see, the One who turned water into wine and multiplied the loaves and fishes, healed the lady with the issue of blood and cured leprosy, cuz even when your friend ain’t there and you be feeling like nobody cares- God’s still there, ready to cast all your burdens away, let Him in your heart this very day, and I pray that every lyric I spit would hit, penetrate to the very depths of your soul, and I’m gonna let the whole world know that He can make your sins white as snow. Now let me bust en Espanol, para mexicano, o cubano, panameno, colombiano, argentino, chilleno, nico ya, Puerto riceno, lo que yo te enseno es algo que me ensenaron de pequeno, wit’ this instrumental I’m gonna make you get sentimental, ‘cause I be knowin’ that your feeling what I’m talking ‘bout, make ya wanna shout shout let it all out like Tears for Fears – I’m trying to reach my peers and the thugs, playas in the clubs and my patnas slanging drugs, duckin’ them slugs, looking for love in a messed up world that’s cold like a freezer, that’s why until the day I die I’m gonna preach the Word of God like the Man of God they call Peter, mira, ahorita, you might be going through a thing or two, but know that Jesus still loves you, so it’s all good playa, wie your eyes, cuz Jesus said that everything is gonna be alright, now come on down.

The Truth About Liberals

Behind the emotions, justifications and ranting there is a root of ignorance demonstrated by the 21st century liberal unlike anything that could be predicted during The New Deal. In objective thought, A=A and reality=reality. Trying to debate with liberals—you may assume that they argue on a logical playing field –but don’t be frustrated- for logic has nothing to do with their case. Usually, arguments melt into name calling, shouting or whatever antics necessary to divert your focus from substance.

Why then is there such a dereliction of mental process for the modern liberal. Whether you see them in the mainstream media or live next to one, they are all quite fundamentally the same:

1. Rule Of Emotion

Listen carefully to libs like Barbara Boxer. On Meet the Press with Tim Russert, her defense of Clinton is prefaced with words like “I feel”. “I don’t FEEL that his [Bill Clinton’s] actions rise to the level of impeachment”. Maybe if Barb stopped feeling her way through the semen stained presidency of Bill Clinton and started THINKING, her sense of law and justice would focus.

2. Belief That Human Beings Are Incapable Of Autonomy

From the labor unions to Hillary’s village, liberals disavow any ability of humans to succeed on their own. Mainstream liberal causes such as homelessness, animal rights, modern feminism, affirmative action, health care and insistence on a government controlled school system all boil down to a common theme: You CAN’T make it on your own.

All these causes lead to programs of forced compassion to those who don’t or won’t take independent responsibility. Well, this writer resents the notion that we need someone else’s help if we are to survive and prosper and this composition is dedicated to that theme. America is still the land of opportunity and this great experiment does not need liberal programs to work.

3. Love Of Government

Have you ever read a bill proposed by a liberal lawmaker that didn’t expand the power of government? Liberals need government because it gives them a medium to promote socialized ideals. Government gives power and power leads to force and force leads to control. Ultimately, liberals wish to control society so government is the means to their end.

Liberals draw their power from managing social clusters. Social clusters from labor unions to manufactured (special interest) clusters like “African American” causes or “working people” [read- not entrepreneurs]. To a liberal, you must belong to a cluster. In some lines of employment your job depends on membership – i.e. labor unions. Abstinence from union participation is tantamount to insubordination and treason. I speak from personal experience.

By the way, you can’t avoid being in a cluster--even if you promote freedom, honor, morality and the U.S. Constitution – in which case your assigned cluster is (the most noble of all clusters)-- the Right-Wing Extremist.


4. Abject Illogic

Don’t believe me? Turn to any news channel and watch Allen Derschowitz for five minutes. Everything that you have ever heard him say can be summarized by the following: “2+2=almost 5”

According to libs, no human is capable of taking responsibility for his or her actions, we need the aid of big government to make it, and by the way, if you think Clinton broke the law---you are a bigot.

Well the truth about liberals boils down to this, truth is what you make it and the ends justify the means (or, the ends justify being mean). But, don’t try too hard to figure them out, leave that to me. Just stay tuned to this periodic tirade and hopefully together we can make a dent.

After years of being primed for this writing experiment, I now embark on a series of short essays that will be my contribution of direct, passionate, and brash common sense into the media world. While these essays will border more on editorializing, my purpose is to point out the common sense and hope reflected in my view of our American society. They will remain short so that those with shorter attention spans will still get some nutrition.

“Carpe Truth!”

Love Letter to the Grandma of my Wife

Dear Grandma-

Yesterday was our 10th wedding anniversary thanks for your very nice card! Of course, we won’t be taking our “anniversary” cruise until the end of the month- but we are both looking very forward to that. I hope you don’t mind the typewritten letter- I have gotten so used to the computer for composing letters that I’m worried if I write long-hand- I will make too many mistakes. (bad excuse- I know) But I wanted to write you a personal letter that has been on my mind today – and after listening to an interesting Focus on the Family this morning- I am compelled to write a heartfelt “thank you” letter to you. If you want to share this letter with Darlene- you are welcome- but for now I just want this to be a thank you letter to you personally.

So on this anniversary year, I want you to know how truly thankful and blessed I am to be married to Darlene. And you, grandma, are so much of the reason Darlene is such the loving and thoughtful person that she is. She has on many many occasions let me know how important you are to her and what significance you have had in her life. Deep in my heart, I know it is the loving example you have been to her from her earliest days.

Often I think we wait until it is too late to tell people what we really think of them and I don’t want that to happen with you. Last night, Darlene and I sat out by the fire in the back yard reminiscing on our 10 years together and thinking about how blessed we have been. You are very special part of our lives and we both love you very much. So I just wanted to take this opportunity to let you know what a special person you are and thank you for being such a loving grandma. As I strive to be a good dad to our kids and a decent husband to Darlene- I am filled with appreciation for you.

2002 Corporate Dictionary

Blamestorming - Sitting around in a group discussing why a deadline was missed or a project failed and who was responsible.

Seagull Manager - A manager, who flies in, makes a lot of noise, craps on everything, and then leaves.

Salmon Day - The experience of spending an entire day swimming upstream only to get screwed and die in the end.

Irritainment - Entertainment and media spectacles that are annoying but you find yourself unable to stop watching them. The O.J. trials were a prime example.

Chainsaw Consultant - An outside expert brought in to reduce the employee head count, leaving the boss with clean hands.

Career Limiting Move (CLM) - Used among microserfs to describe an ill-advised activity. Trashing your boss while he or she is within earshot is a serious CLM.

Adminisphere - The rarefied organizational layers beginning just above the rank and file. Decisions that fall from the adminisphere are often profoundly inappropriate or irrelevant to the problems they were designed to solve.

Flight Risk - Used to describe employees who are suspected of planning to leave the company or department soon.

404 - Someone who's clueless. From the World Wide Web error message "404-URL Not Found," meaning that the requested web page could not be located. Used as in: "Don't bother asking him... he's 404, man."

Generica - Features of the American landscape that are exactly the same no matter where one is, such as fast food joints, strip malls, subdivisions.

Used as in: "We were so lost in Generica that I forgot what city we were
in."

Ohno-Second - That minuscule fraction of time in which you realize that you've just made a BIG mistake. Percussive Maintenance - The fine art of whacking the crap out of an electronic device to get it to work again.

Umfriend - A sexual relation of dubious standing or a concealed intimate relationship, as in "This is Dylan, my ... um...friend."

Body Nazis - Hard-core exercise and weightlifting fanatics who look down on anyone who doesn't work out obsessively.

Cube Farm - An office filled with cubicles.

Idea Hamsters - People who always seem to have their idea generators running.

Mouse Potato - The on-line, wired generation's answer to the couch potato.

Prairie Dogging - When someone yells or drops something loudly in a cube farm, and people's heads pop up over the walls to see what's going on.

SITCOMs - What yuppies turn into when they have children and one of them stops working to stay home with the kids. Stands for "Single Income, Two Children, And Oppressive Mortgage".

Starter Marriage - A short-lived first marriage that ends in divorce with no kids, no property and no regrets.

Stress Puppy - A person who seems to thrive on being stressed out and whiny.

Swiped Out - An ATM or credit card that has been rendered useless because the magnetic strip is worn away from extensive use.

Alpha Geek - The most knowledgeable, technically proficient person in an
office or work group.

G.O.O.D. Job - A "Get-Out-Of-Debt" job. A well-paying job people take in order to pay off their debts, one that they will quit as soon as they are solvent again.

Yuppie Food Stamps - The ubiquitous $20 bills spewed out of ATMs everywhere. Often used when trying to split the bill after a meal: "We owe $8 each, but all anybody's got are yuppie food stamps.

Striking Philosophy!

Striking Philosophy?

I was fascinated by the editorial written by Robert Hunter entitled “An open letter to striking UPS workers”. Thank you to Mr. Hunter, a well spoken and informative person, for helping me understand issues concerning both sides as to their rights. This article gave insight into the process of class-action striking and Union tactics. The article challenged me to examine the roots of “Union thinking”.

All opinions come from a philosophical base. Everything a person (or group of persons) believes and/or acts upon is based firmly on a philosophy. Let us take a moment to drop the fringe issues of this (or any) strike (i.e. pay, full-time vs. part-time, pensions, etc.) and focus on the principle of legalized striking.

What right does a person have to tell another how to spend their money? Where in our Constitution are we given rights for corporate and class-action theft (striking)? Additionally, where are we given the right to tell our employers how they should conduct their business? Don’t get me wrong, I believe that individuals have every right as free individuals to form Unions. Heck, they can form whatever group they want to, BUT DON’T TELL THE JOB CREATORS THAT THEY MAY NOT RUN THEIR BUSINESSES HOW THEY SEE FIT!

The entrepreneurs and risk takers should have every right to hire, fire, and establish procedures on their terms. Yes, I said FIRE! UPS management should be able to permanently fire every last striker. Why? Because it is their business. Their money. Their risk.

“But it’s not fair!” Fair? Since when did the privilege of gainful employment and its components become an issue of fairness. Folks—life is not fair. For goodness sake—gainful employment is a privilege, not a right. Do we need to debate that issue? Maybe for some of you I am making a broad leap to conclude that employment is a privilege. If I have presumed the contrary and you do in fact believe that employment is your right, then may I remind you of the work practices and conditions of past Communist Russia. It that is what you want, then go find a country sympathetic to those views.

The premise of striking or “the tail wagging the dog” stinks of micro-socialism. When did we in this country begin adopting the flawed precept that we may tell those who employ us how to conduct their business?? What kind of rebellious and selfish spirit has perpetuated the Union crowd’s view of employer and employee. I have never heard of an incident where an employer put a gun to the head of a worker and said “WORK – OR ELSE!” A free market economy allows us to find new employment wherever we wish (provided we are accepted into that employment). If UPS is so terrible in their policies – inform the us (the public) of the policies and let us vote with our pocketbooks. And if you, the UPS employee, don’t like the work policies set up by UPS – quit, find other work, and stop whining!

My only alarm of Hunter’s words came in his opinion in the last paragraph of the article where he states to the strikers “You are an American success story. Let that tradition continue and not be lost in this strike.” Success story?! There are NO winners here, Mr. Hunter. This strike is another example of a great American tragedy involving corporate mutiny, union enslavement, and a flawed philosophical base.

Compassionate Conservatism

Conservatism is compassionate by its very essence. The “compassionate” label has been added to appease liberals and those wishing to distort conservatism into an evil notion.

Conservatism honors citizens by giving them what they deserve-- fruits of their labor and non-discriminatory dignity. Conservatism does not first look to ones skin color, religious belief, physical condition or whatever precedes the hyphen before the word “American”. Instead it looks for the greatness inherent in all Americans. Greatness that does not come from a federal program funded by public extortion, but that greatness that we all possess.

Quite simply – in this age of emotions and symbolism we seek to package things so that it will sell. The word “compassionate” is only an attempt to have people look further into the truth behind conservatism.

Seat Belt Law

To: Representative Bob Brown:

Sometimes we don’t realize the liberties we possess until we lose them. Such is the case with HB4343 which has taken away yet another of my liberties.

My living is made traveling Michigan roads within SE Michigan, primarily on residential streets. My job requires me to stop frequently at schools, churches and other community buildings. As of March 10, 2000 I now drive in fear of being stopped by the police because I am not wearing my seatbelt.

This law outrages me. What in the world makes you think that the Michigan State government has to be a nanny within my car? Do you sincerely choose to regulate my life when I cause no harm or threat to anyone else? Do you choose to bind the arms of Michigan residents to live as you wish them to?

What has happened to the rights of LAW-ABIDING citizens in this state? May I urge you to repeal this law immediately- and furthermore respect my rights to live in freedom inasmuch as my freedom does not infringe on the rights of others.

If I sound angry- it is because I am truly fearful of what tyranny you will allow next.


Very Sincerely-

The Liberal Necessity of Hyphenated-Americans

I guess I should be ashamed to say it, but I am a white male. Yes indeed, genealogical research shows that I am of French, German, Scottish and English descent. From what I can deduce from the last twenty years of media innuendo, I am statistically the most evil type of human on the planet. But before I diverge- let’s me address the most divisive ploys to clusterize Americans.

Thanks to our politically correct society we now divide our great American society into hyphenated-Americans. You know….Mexican-Americans, Irish-Americans, Native-Americans, African-Americans, Asian-Americans and many others. Something about this sits in my craw, so please allow me to explain.

Don’t for a minute think that I disrespect any culture or heritage. Quite the contrary, I love other cultures- in fact I spent the first twelve years of my life in a third-world country in Southeast Asia as a missionary kid. I speak their language and think of that country as my second home. Growing up, I played in the local villages with other nationals and developed a natural love and understanding of their ways. While attending high school here in the U.S., a father-like mentor took me under his wing- a black man who I love and respect.

First let me explain my confusion about the hyphen craze. It is inconsistent. Africa is a continent. Mexico is a country. So which is it? Do we define by continent or country? What about a person of Native-American descent who is a citizen of England—are they “Native-American-British”. Or how about a person of Mexican ancestry living in Poland – are they Mexican-American-Polock? Or what about a black person whose lineage comes from Cuba- are they Cuban-African-American or just African-American?

Can you see the mess that develops when you use logic to understand this hyphenation craze? Several months ago I viewed a cable newscast where a reporter questioned pedestrians in New York. During the newscast the reporter asked a black woman on the street a question that began with “So as an African-American woman, how would you……..”. In broken English, the woman replied, “I am Nigerian, not American”.

So why do we have hyphenated-Americans?

1. Hyphenating Avoids Patriotism

In an attempt to appear more sensitive and compassionate, it is considered more compassionate to refer folks by their nationality instead of their actual race. And, for all practical purposes, I agree. For instance, it would be awkward to go around referring to people as Alpine Caucasoid, Papuan Negroid or Indonesian Mongoloid.

But in the last twenty years, some liberals decided that America was not great enough to have U.S. citizens without a descriptive prefix of their ancestry. They had to show more cosmopolitan compassion [in my best “British-American” tone] by attaching descriptors. By hyphenating, people appear to have allegiance to two or more countries. In doing so, America is just one country of residence, no more important or great than another. Hyphenating is just another way of diminishing peoples patriotism towards our great country.

2. Hyphenating Dilutes America’s Greatness

White people dominate America’s early history. And with all the greatness and glory of Early America, there were big problems. The scourge of slavery was a major one. But even with America’s glaring injustices it has managed to evolve by ridding itself of slavery. In the last twenty years, in an effort to re-write history, liberals have made out the founding fathers to be corrupt, mad and evil racists. Don’t believe me? Go to your local public school and read a history textbook. The advent of hyphenated-Americans is simply an outgrowth of that resentment of American history.

If liberals can convince people that partial allegiance should be pledged to their homeland through hyphenating, they could somehow be redeemed from association with America’s blemished past. Of particular interest is the maternalistic worship of Africa from whence come many Americans. Most of us have seen the zealous celebration of African culture. It is amazing that people are not reminded of the historical scourge of slavery on Africa by Africans and many other atrocities in history (see the movie- Tears of the Sun.) And more amazing that there is an apparent resentment towards America and what America stands for. No, America is not perfect and has a long way to go—but there is no greater country in the world!

3. Hyphenating Segregates Americans Into Clusters

Hyphenating Americans is just another way for liberals to pigeonhole people into special interest groups. They believe if they can define you, they can control you. Or pit one group of Americans against another- a technique mastered by Bill Clinton. What’s wrong with being race-blind and being non-hyphenated? What happened to Martin Luther King’s dream that we could be judged “NOT BY THE COLOR OF OUR SKIN, BUT BY THE CONTENT OF OUR CHARACTER”? And ultimately, if people are ashamed of America or to be an “American” then why live here?

If transportation is a problem, I propose a government subsidy for the purchase of one-way tickets out of this great nation.

Ah ha- don’t tell me—I know— I am now a racist.

4. Hyphenating Sounds More Palatable

To identify someone it is natural and convenient for people to say what they see. For instance--“He’s the oriental guy sitting to the left of that stewardess”. Normal conversation –yes, but oh-so politically incorrect. Correct liberal translation— “He’s the Asian-American guy sitting to the flight attendant”. There is something strangely hypnotic about non-specificity and wordiness. There is something soothing and benign about vaguity.

So why can’t we all just be Americans? I mean with NO HYPHENS. Why can’t we appreciate our cultural ancestry and the ancestry of others and still be just “Americans”. Why can’t the word “American” in and of itself define our ancestry?

Well, ladies and gentlemen- I for one am proud to be an “American”. Whatever the nationalities of my ancestors, whatever the situation they faced when they left their homeland to come here. This country called “America” has brought happiness and prosperity to them and their descendants. America offers more than soil on which to build a home. America gives liberty to pursue my dreams, to realize my potential and for that I am grateful.

So drop the hyphens! Stand firm on your American identity and be proud of it.