I'm Usually Right

I’m usually right

Maybe I need to sit on a thought for two or three days, but usually at the end – I am right.

If I am to be wrong, then I’m deliberately wrong. Like when I eat a Kit Kat before watching a movie at 7PM. Then I’m wrong in eating the Kit Kat – but I’m right in knowing that I’m wrong.

When I listen to pompous people, I know they are pompous. I’m right.
When I listen to ignorant people, I know they are ignorant. I’m right.
When I listen to Bill O’Reilly be “fair” at the expense of being correct. I’m right.

Regarding politics I am right. Very “correct” that is. (Which happens to be “not left” but right). I listen to NARAL protesters, Planned Parenthood, gay marriage advocates, anti-war demonstrators and know that they are all wrong. And I’m right.

It is universal truth that they are wrong. Not just in my “own world view” context. But right about the fact that their views are universally God ordained as being wrong.

I’m very comfortable in knowing I’m right. No conflict whatsoever. I sleep well and wake up refreshed. And brew a fresh pot of coffee. I know that brewed coffee will make me happier than instant coffee. I’ve tried instant – and I am right.

Cremora sucks. Have you tried Cremora in instant coffee? Use half & half instead, and use it in brewed coffee. It’s a day and night difference? Yes it is. I am right.

When I talk to God and feel distant --because of my sins, I’m usually right about that. But I know that God is probably listening to me anyway because of His grace.

Now wait. There was the time that I was deceived for a couple of months by this guy I thought was my friend. But he lied to me about little things – like: he was a former country music singer, ran a drug deal to Florida and got busted, knows a guy who works for the government who knows how to alter DirecTV cards so you can get all the channels. I was wrong about him. I just tried to be friendly to him and bought all his garbage casually.

OK – chalk one up on the “wrong” side.

But on most other things I’m right. Here is a list of things that I know for a fact:

1. God is real and is annoyed by liberals
2. "Chick flicks" are ok with a mind altering drug
3. Abortion is the worst crime against humanity. Worse than the Nazi death camps, Saddam’s crimes against the Kurds and the Boxer Rebellion.
4. Vegetarians think they are better than other people
5. Pompous 2nd generation rich people are very annoying. Strike that. All pompous people are annoying.
6. Artists don’t rely on their intellect for success.
7. God created the universe. And God created me.
8. The only thing that evolved from monkeys are liberals.
9. Anyone willing to call themselves a Democrat, is associating with a Party that endorses abortion and is therefore unethical.
10. Ugly people can live a fulfilling life if they are nice