My Cousin Rosie

(Never react . Let time pass before responding. Think cautiously. OK- it’s been three weeks and I’ve calmed down. So here is the Christian version.)

When in the course of human events it becomes necessary to call a spade a spade. My cousin who shall remain unnamed--has become Rosie O’Donnell. A bloated moron, with a selfish meaningless life. Mired in anger and bitterness in her own unhappiness she decided to open her mouth and insert her foot.

She decided (unprovoked) to impart her snide, arrogant and condescending and totally inappropriate remarks about my parents –to my parents- right during Christmas party at grandma’s house. Not only was it an act of basic social stupidity, it reflected a very ugly picture.

If that is all it was – it would be a sad story. But it is a story of a lady who has been told her whole life how infallible and smart she is. Lifted to the highest stature of academic success, she traded any decency, virtue and grace to get there. Now – perched in elite academia, she is obviously, well-- miserable.

And that’s not all. Rosie's bad behavior is cottled by a mother who believes "she has the right to speak her mind” (as she said to my brother). To which it is then clear why the dysfunction exists in the first place. Like mother- like daughter – miserable, unhappy and angry.

Very unpleasant people.

Unable to find a boyfriend that could ever live up to her fantastic erudite expectations, she has been relegated to a life of sarcasm, condescension and arrogance. Her mucky personality is likely a result of seclusion from the company of good people. She has become like the people closest to her.

Let me say for the record, Rosie, I would NEVER trade my parents for yours. My parents are the inspiration behind two successful and happy sons and a daughter, not to mention their great families.

So when it comes right down to it, Rosie --the academically gifted purveyor of all things chemical- is really just a blithering mean and socially dyslexic punk.