731 Bourgeoisie

I have come to notice something about the Gaylord phone system. Maybe it’s the self-loathing thing or maybe just insecurity. I think all the pretty people get 732 numbers.

Let’s just take a look at some of the beautiful people who have the status and connections to rise to the 732 level. You have Keith Berger, an esteemed Federal employee working in the mansion on the hill weather station. Steve Johnson, rich oil tycoon with castle by the sea. Ed Hunt, perfect husband, father, family man and pillar of the community. Northern Christian Radio, vestige of purity and angelic light. Craig Ryan, esteemed political insider and future President of the United States.

Then there are the 731 street sweepers, people that don’t make it into the club, people that didn’t form the proper connections in their move to Gaylord. Included are people like Andy Willett, self confessed pounder of rocks. Mark Perrine, a traveling motivational speaker who eats a steady diet of government cheese and lives in a van down by the river. Matt Book, a man who appears to have insider connections but instead of paying cash for his phone number used a buy one get one free coupon.

The Musik Haus, who really goes there anyway? All Gaylord Public Schools, government education- need I say anymore? China One- great food, but cheap labor can’t buy you a 732.

Then there is the 705 class. These are the people that are just discovered the Rubik’s Cube. Late comers to Gaylord trying to fit in. It’s hopeless for this class.

What about the 231 class? Snooty. They think they are above everybody else because they have a number NOT starting with 7. Woooooo! These people live in places like the Gaylord Country Club, Black Forest and ……..Mancelona. Don’t even talk to them about fitting in- no! They just sit above and watch all us 7## parasites feed off each other.

I have come to accept my lot in life. Once a 731, always a 731. My kids, if they grow up to live in Gaylord will also be 731’s. It’s a hard knock life.