Response to comment on my former post - "Half True Praise Songs"

I received a very thoughtful comment on my previous post that I felt I should respond to and post here. I really appreciate being challenged on this topic and really enjoy the discussion. I also know that while my opinion are not always popular, I do think that iron sharpens iron and that I can learn from others views. As mentioned, my particular views on this subject are in the context of CORPORATE WORSHIP through song and somewhat reflected in the book mentioned by Nick Page.


(commentor says.....)

Regarding your "Half True Praise Songs" piece: You mentioned "shallow biblical truth" several times. I'd like to know: Which attributes of God do you consider to be "shallow"?

No biblical truth or attribute of God is shallow! Nor can we make it shallow by repetition. It can only become shallow or boring in our own minds. God's Word tells us to meditate day and night on His words, to ponder them, to think about them when we wake up, when we go to sleep...Doesn't he know that His truth will become shallow or boring to us if we do this though? See, the issue is the spirit with which we take in the truths of God. That will determine whether truth becomes boring and shallow or deep and sweet in our hearts.

There are no shallow attributes of God. In that sentence I could have used more precise language to say that there are some Biblical truths that are shallow in the context of a praise song when it comes to living the Christian life. I should have better written that sentence.

For instance, in Leviticus 3:17 it says “You must not eat any fat or any blood.” If we repeated that Biblical truth in a praise song – it would be shallow to living Christian life. If I were to sing a song with those words, they would have absolutely no meaning to me in living the Christian life. Repeating them would not help.

Unless, God made it a point that eating fat or blood was a spiritual issue and relevant to worship, then it would not have relevance for spiritual growth.

Maybe we could agree that your statement is "half true". :-)

I believe my statement is TOTALLY true. Unless, you are legalistic and abstinence of fat and blood – (i.e. steak) is a benefit to your Godliness. I’m sure I could find many more statements in the Bible that, while inspired and inerrant, would do very little or nothing for my spiritual life sung repeatedly in a praise song.

Secondly, I feel your pain in being "forced" to sing songs you don't like in church. But have you ever wondered what makes God upset about our worship?

I would suspect that God is upset about songs sung about Him in church that are not sincere worship. I also think that God hates being mocked (Galatians 6:7) and so songs sung with poorly constructed words and shoddy poetry make a mockery of our worship. Music just doesn’t fall out of our mouths in abstract ramblings on Sunday morning to find a cohesive organized sound for God almighty. There are musical forms that we as a culture have adopted to allow for the Holy Spirit to work as a church body.

Your idea that “as long as it is from the heart – it’s OK” philosophy is fine for singular worship, but does nothing for the church body (congregation) praising God with one voice.

I agree that some songs are poorly written. When they come on the radio, I turn the radio off. Can't do that in church, so I sing along. I focus on the truths of the song, and I worship. I think God probably chuckles often at our feeble attempts to express our love for Him through music poetry, dance, whatever... I don't think God ever chuckles though, at a spirit of cynicism or deriding the heartfelt worship of others. (Check out how God punished David's wife, Mical, for citicizing his worship!)

Again-you are not getting the point. The cynicism and criticism is not towards the “heartfelt worship of others” – it is of the poor way that some artists construct and some worship leaders execute praise and worship songs. The criticism is not of the person worshipping.

I’m sure that you could use a metal pot, some pans and begin screaming at the top of your lungs, some Biblical truth – and SOMEONE in the congregation can worship to that! But, a congregational whole in a blended church in 2006 cannot worship to that.

OK- let’s go where the rubber meets the road. A few Sundays ago. I know some wonderful and Godly people in the church who were totally worshipping God with music where cues were missed, slides were not being shown on the right verses and most people in the church had no idea how to sing many of the melodic intervals in the song. While they had no problem getting into it, many people did (all I had to do was look around). The dysfunction of the singing service led to a poor worship experience because I could not focus on the words and the spirit of the words.

So, are there many poorly written worship songs? Yes! Do they make for "bad" worship? No. As long as a song is true theologically, we can still worship in spirit and in truth. (I've sung Jesus Loves Me about a trillion times in my life...it's a song that lacks for creativity and depth, yet when I sing it with my daughter before she goes to sleep, it's pure and unadulterated worship!

Again- that is SINGULAR worship, not corporate worship. By the way, I disagree that "Jesus Loves Me" lacks creativity and depth, I think it is a deep spiritual truth that is set to music in a way that is simple and creative and is especially meaningful to kids.

So, as you suggest, does poor songwriting equate to "dumb worship"? I'll be generous and give you a "half truth" credit with the recognition that God desires our very best worship, and sometimes we offer Him only second best, and that's dumb.

Thirdly, you wrote, "I have a good friend that believes that there is no such thing as a bad praise song! He believes that if the song brings him or anyone closer to God in worship that the words simply don’t matter."

Wow, your friend sounds like he isn't very sharp, unless of course, that's not exactly what he said, making that statement at best, only "half true".

Hmm- the quote may not be word for word- but that was certainly, the spirit of what was conveyed to me. And if that spirit was conveyed, I think it is noble and understandable but misguided. I do think that corporately sung praise songs do depend on good poetry, syntax, flow, form, Biblical acuracy, meaningfulness to Christian living, cultural relatability and a broadly accepted style. And as Nick Page has so articulately written in his book, there are many poorly written praise songs. And I do agree.

Granted, this is just my opinion, and I love to get opinions and debate them in a spirit of grace and growth. But I do find that some people have a very difficult time in peacefully disagreeing or being challenged on Biblical topics. I have been wrong many times, but hopefully admitted it and been teachable.

So, maybe you should title this piece "Half True Statements About Worship" :-)

Thanks, but I will stick with the title as is. I believe that we have really dumbed down worship to God in many ways – and I, too, am guilty of letting it effect me. One thing I do pray is that I remain teachable and let myself “be wrong” – which is something I’ve had to learn to do over the years. My experience with some people, who dispense Biblical wisdom, is that they get hostile when being challenged.

Love ya, brother!

I love you,too, actually closer than a brother. Now it’s just showing it by my actions!

K

Half True Praise Songs

Originally written on 1/11/06

I recently bought a book recommended by Bob Kauflin (former Glad musician and current Worship Music Pastor somewhere in Maryland). The book is "And Now Let's Move into a Time of Nonsense: Why Worship Songs Are Failing the Church" by Nick Page. The book is very funny but embarassingly acurate. P.S. I also reviewed this book at the same link above.

Some modern praise songs are theologically rich and can express deep Biblical truth through a worshipful spirit. Others tend to focus on a single attribute of God by frequent repetition. Though Biblical, that truth can be shallow when it comes to living the Christian life.

For instance, it is true that Psalms 118:5 says the following:

“In my anguish I cried to the LORD, and he answered by setting me free.” NIV

But if we were to worship using a song that was written as follows:

I cried to the Lord and wept
The weeping of my eyes, tears for the Master
I felt the stirring of the Lord on my journey
Which kept me from disaster.

Oh Lord, my tears are for You
Oh Lord, my fears are for You
To seek you in the morning
To weep for you in the evening
Oh Lord, my tears are for You.

OK, I admit – poetry is not my thing. The point is that sometimes we take a shallow Biblical truth; build words around it, then make a song. This (bad) song above which I wrote in 24 seconds, is Biblically true but completely incomplete.

When our church worship music is dominated by these kinds of songs, we dumb down our worship.

Other songs twist Biblical truths to fit into a poetic schema the author wants. The words ‘sound’ Biblical and maybe even exude worshipful feelings, but are simply inaccurate.

This post is a direct result of my wife’s explanation of worship this past Sunday at church while I was away. The song was “This Is Your House” and the words are as follows:


As we gather in this place today; Holy Spirit come and have Your way
Have Your way; As we lay aside our own desires
Sweep across our hearts with holy fire; Have Your way

This is Your house Your home; We welcome You
Lord we welcome You; This is Your house Your home; We welcome You today

As we offer up our hearts and lives; Let them be a living sacrifice; Have Your way
Be glorified in ev'rything we do; Be glorified in ev'rything we say; Have Your way

As we pray (As we pray); O Lord draw near; It's Your voice (It's Your voice); We long to hear

This is Your house Your home; We welcome You
Lord we welcome You; This is Your house Your home
We welcome You today; This is Your house Your home
We welcome You; Lord we welcome You
This is Your house Your home; We welcome You today
We welcome You today; We welcome You today


There a few good lines in this song, but a vast majority of it are that “This is Your House, we welcome You today”.

Think about that line. I mean, besides the general feeling that it sounds Biblical, actually READ the line and find the paradox.

If it is HIS house, then why are we welcoming Him? If it is His house wouldn’t we be the ones who are visitors? Never once since I have been a homeowner have I ever had someone come to my house and said “welcome”.

The proper expression of this would be that HE welcomes us into His presence, not the other way around.

Many don’t care if the words don’t make sense. I have a good friend that believes that there is no such thing as a bad praise song! He believes that if the song brings him or anyone closer to God in worship that the words simply don’t matter.

I see his point that the ultimate objective is a personal connection to God, but if we lower our standards to the point that the words can loose their meaning, then why have words at all? What’s the point?

Here is another spontaneous composition to make my point:

The air, the grass, the sand the sea
The air, the grass, the sand the sea
The air, the grass, the sand the sea
The air, the grass, the sand the sea

It is so beautiful to me
The air, the grass, the sand the sea
Your majesty is what I give to you, not me
The air, the grass, the sand the sea

How is that for a 10 second composition with the help of ‘copy and paste’? You see my point? I know the words are poetically terrible, but do you see a theological inaccuracy here?

A Fine and Pleasant Youth Trip

Again I’m faced with the choice to write about a topic that puts me at risk in that people I know and love who know the situation will read it and vehemently disagree. It also can potentially be a very politically incorrect move. But again, in today’s world of blogging it is only natural that personal opinions can be public. Since I am neither running for church office or political office (and have no aspirations to), I feel free and even compelled to share my thoughts.

If you don’t want to hear my opinion – this is your chance to go read some meaningless pap – say the New York Times web site.

Once a year, our church has a youth trip to Florida during the week of spring break that transports about 70 high schoolers down to Florida to have fun and grow in Christ. Following the trip, the group takes a Sunday morning service to share their experiences and testimonies with the congregation at large. Today’s youth service was mediocre at best and too much of it was downright embarrassing. It took all of the worship hour then went into our communities’ hour (“Sunday School” for most of you) effectively taking the entire morning.

Community time was cancelled by default.

At risk of being perceived at being a curmudgeon I must say at the outset that there were at least two outstanding youth testimonies- the first being a young lady who spoke of being confident in Christ and the other was a young man who articulately read Bible verses that he lives by. The rest was either OK or a total waste of our church worship hour.

My problem is not with taking a Florida trip, it is solely with the content of the service. One hour of the two hour service was allocated to describing the fun and games. Dating games, shaving cream fights throwing girls in the ocean and ice cream parties- “it was all so much fun”. Literally, most of the congregation had to cringe through all this pap until we finally got to the spiritual part in the testimonies- an hour later.

The students did sing about 4 or 5 songs, and unfortunately the most memorable ones were, “Pirates Who Don’t Do Anything” from Veggie Tales and “I’m in the Lord’s Army” both popular songs for 5 and 6 year olds. Some thought it cute- I thought it was terribly embarrassing. My wife, especially, cringed thinking on how shallow youth activities have gotten since her Word of Life youth group days as a teenager.

I am generally irreverent and you may be surprised to hear my take on this – but I usually desire to be spiritually fed on Sunday morning, not entertained.

What is success in a youth spring break trip? From what I gathered, it was overwhelmingly the fact that everybody made it back safely and no one was seriously hurt. They were safe. Thank goodness. “Don’t worry, parents, we made sure that everybody was supervised and always safe.” Did I say that no one got hurt?

I remember a time when success was defined by the lives that were changed. Spiritually charged teens got up and gave voice to what God had done in their lives. Teens sang solo’s, played instruments, gave testimonies and challenged others to live for Christ. This used to be the predominate theme.

Spiritual growth did happen but it came across as the rare exception, not the rule.

Another unfortunate distraction of the youth service was the short (very short) skirt being worn by a very attractive tanned young lady in the front row of youth on stage. Did I mention her velvety skin and finally shaped body. My entire family noticed it, and I am willing to bet that every red-blooded American male in the service did, too.

But I know – I shouldn’t judge the length of skirts worn on the “stage” at church. I’m sorry for bringing it up. I guess I shouldn’t frown on lingerie, teddies and brass poles up there during testimony time, too. My bad.

“Discern not, lest ye be discerned.” Is that in the Bible?

Our Deepest Worship

Originally written on 1/3/2006

Your deepest worship of the week generally can’t occur on Sunday morning if you attend a blended church.

That statement may sound strong, but I wish to back it up if I may.

For the purpose of this post, a blended church congregation would have people that like hymns (exclusively) and others that like modern praise choruses (exclusively) who can be irritated at having to experience too much of a differing style. Everyone has their preference.

In a blended church there has to be a compromise of stylistic preferences on Sunday morning because of the natural diversity of people who attend. This would naturally come at the expense of another’s preference.

So to come to church on Sunday morning and expect to be bless and be blessed more than other times of the week is folly. Worship on Sunday morning will always be at the lowest common denominator of the depth of people there.

In addition to worship style differences there is another reason that Sunday morning may not be the best time to worship. How many people do you know that are at their peak at 9:30 AM? I certainly am not. Especially after corralling four kids to get up, get dressed, get fed and get in the car.

So to expect deep spiritual connection then might be an exercise in futility. This isn’t to say that it cannot happen or that we should not expect it. Certainly, given time to settle we are better prepared to come into the presence of the Living God.

But my larger point here is that our best and most sincere worship might best be done outside of Sunday morning either privately or in a small intimate group when inhibitions are at a minimum.

Personally, I know that the most significant times of my worship to God occur in the basement in a sound-proof room. Many times, the worship is sparked by a song I hear by a group such as the Brooklyn Tabernacle Choir or Fernando Ortega or St. John’s Episcopal Church in Denver.

I also can confess that my Sunday morning worship is lackluster at best. There are occasionally songs that help me contemplate or evoke praise, but most of the time I stand there irritated at the disorganized congregational singing due to unfamiliarity with the song or that they simply are not sure on which note to put the syllable or the wrong slides for the songs.

To realize the unlikelihood of deep, significant worship on Sunday morning in a blended church is to realize the need for deep worship at other times of the week.

With this in mind- I am challenged to deepen my personal devotions and to think of it as daily “worship” instead. Maybe then, I can experience a more unrestrained and uninhibited worship to He who deserves the best of my praise.

Sunday morning has its purpose in unifying the body of Christ but it cannot replace deep uninhibited singular worship.

Princess Kaylee

As some of you know, I have been having fun with photography. Mainly cutting and pasting. Well this time I found an old magaine with Princess Di on the front and decided to insert my daughters face. Dont' worry- I do not have a "Jon Benet'" complex. Far from it. But since my beautiful daughter loves Barbie and princeses and ballerinas - I decided to do this for fun.

731 Bourgeoisie

I have come to notice something about the Gaylord phone system. Maybe it’s the self-loathing thing or maybe just insecurity. I think all the pretty people get 732 numbers.

Let’s just take a look at some of the beautiful people who have the status and connections to rise to the 732 level. You have Keith Berger, an esteemed Federal employee working in the mansion on the hill weather station. Steve Johnson, rich oil tycoon with castle by the sea. Ed Hunt, perfect husband, father, family man and pillar of the community. Northern Christian Radio, vestige of purity and angelic light. Craig Ryan, esteemed political insider and future President of the United States.

Then there are the 731 street sweepers, people that don’t make it into the club, people that didn’t form the proper connections in their move to Gaylord. Included are people like Andy Willett, self confessed pounder of rocks. Mark Perrine, a traveling motivational speaker who eats a steady diet of government cheese and lives in a van down by the river. Matt Book, a man who appears to have insider connections but instead of paying cash for his phone number used a buy one get one free coupon.

The Musik Haus, who really goes there anyway? All Gaylord Public Schools, government education- need I say anymore? China One- great food, but cheap labor can’t buy you a 732.

Then there is the 705 class. These are the people that are just discovered the Rubik’s Cube. Late comers to Gaylord trying to fit in. It’s hopeless for this class.

What about the 231 class? Snooty. They think they are above everybody else because they have a number NOT starting with 7. Woooooo! These people live in places like the Gaylord Country Club, Black Forest and ……..Mancelona. Don’t even talk to them about fitting in- no! They just sit above and watch all us 7## parasites feed off each other.

I have come to accept my lot in life. Once a 731, always a 731. My kids, if they grow up to live in Gaylord will also be 731’s. It’s a hard knock life.

Feedback Please

My wife and I have finished watching all the previous seasons of 24 on DVD. Are there other network TV shows that are worth renting the back seasons? We have not seen any regular shows. Is the Sopranos a good show to get in to?

Found Near Fermi

PTO Purgatory

Never has there been a more dysfunctional, irrational and more incapable organization in the history of the universe than the PTO. Thirty-something moms all making decisions based on hormone peaks.

This is a rant- pure and simple. My job puts me face to face with PTO’s on occasion in which allows me to operate in a completely different world - a world where angst and estrogen compete with SIMPLE LOGIC in a vain attempt to TRANSACT BUSINESS.

For the past two years, an elementary school PTO in mid state has been courting me to come to their school to complete for their business. It started when the alpha PTO mom (heretofore known as PMOM) saw me launch a program at a neighboring school. She was enamored with my presentation to the student body and insisted I come to her school to present to her PTO because my “prizes and presentation were awesome”.

So I did what I hate the most, I went to their PTO cattle call. That is where a bunch of fundraising companies come to a school PTO meeting and pole dance for a bunch of fickle Prozac popping ex-prom queens. And yes- I pole danced for all 25 of them and still lost the cattle call. Guess they didn’t like my wig. That was last year.

So this past fall, after another terrible school fundraiser, this same school came to me on their proverbial knees begging me to return for another presentation. Their dissatisfaction with my competitor was again a poor prize program.

The PMOM told me that I was a shoe-in because I had the best looking fundraising catalog and my prizes were awesome. This time, since I am a promotion coordinator for my company – I would do them a favor and bring samples so they could choose their own prizes. This is a privilege that very few schools ever have. I gave them an opportunity to hand select their favorite prizes for next year.

Then tonight I get the gut socking surprise email that they are signing with another company. The same company that provided a terrible prize program for them two years ago. The one that made them look for alternatives. It turns out my prizes were “empty promises” as she put it. I have no idea how to respond to that. Empty promises – WHAT? I showed them everything I have – the very things that they told me they loved and were “so much cooler” than the other companies.

I never got the business, so never had the opportunity to NOT fulfill any empty promises!

Whatever.

And folks, this is not a unique PTO story. This represents why people in my line of work avoid working with PTO’s. Variations on this incident happen all the time throughout the country and smart salespeople have learned to avoid them at all costs. Thankfully, most of my business is with school principals and teachers, people far more capable of making business decisions on principle-- not whim (or time of the month.)

Unless I am begged to come to a PTO meeting to do a presentation, I do not (and will not )seek PTO business. I will not become a whore to the lowest bidder. Even if I did get the business- it is always fickle at best. Their decisions made within the safety of consensus. There is no loyalty as history has proved they move on to another company next year, and the again and again.

Back in Detroit I was the whore doing cattle calls almost every weeknight going from PTO meeting to PTO meeting seeing how much I could give away to get the business. The only thing I lacked was lipstick and a wig.

Thankfully, tonight’s news is rare because of the consistent business I have built on customer service and friendship, but it is still extremely frustrating to go through the dog and pony show only to get kicked in rear once again by a PTO.

There. I feel MUCH better.

24

Never have I been so caught up in a network TV series. Granted, we have been DirecTV subscribers for about ten years and for all that time never watched the networks.

What we ever learned about the Super bowl, Grammy’s and the Oscars was always hearsay and I never felt like we missed much. (After watching about 10 minutes of this year’s Oscars – I KNOW we didn’t miss much!)

But 24 is the huge exception. Wow. This TV series on the Fox network is the finest material to hit the silver screen in decades. Now that we get local channels on our satellite we can watch the few things of substance offered by the networks.

Joel Surnow the talented executive producer of 24 has a real hit. I thank Rush Limbaugh for exalting this show on his radio program, for if it wasn’t for him I never would have taken the time to see what 24 is all about.

This TV show is more entertaining than 90% of all the big budget movies out there. It is based on fictional accounts of what is happening now on our war on terror. Each episode is an account of what could (or maybe is) happening within the CIA, FBI, Homeland Security, et al.

Upon watching a single show from the current season (Season 5) I was determined that I had to go back and watch every episode since the shows inception in 2001. And since no video store in a 60 mile radius had the DVD’s we wanted, we subscribed to the Netflix service and boy are we glad.

We have watched every episode since Season 1. I would highly recommend this show to everyone. Especially to those weak-kneed, mamby pansy, pseudo Christian, politically moderate liberals out there.

I challenge any of you to watch this show and tell me that torture is “never warranted”. This is why the real happenings of national security must never be publicized, because quite simply- a vast majority of the American people do not have the intestinal fortitude to understand national security.

If for no other reason, watch 24 to get a view of what many times has to happen to maintain a free society. It is fascinating, exciting, sad, intense, maddening and most of all high quality television programming.

Brokeback Shame

A lot of what stirs me is what comes up on my home page, The Drudge Report.

Today it is Michelle Williams.

I have not seen Brokeback Mountain in which Michelle Williams stars nor do I know the role she plays, nor do I know the role her fiancé, Heath Ledger plays in the same movie. But I do know that the movie attempts to legitimize and normalize homosexual relationships.

Nor have I seen Fahrenheit 911, Michael Moore’s rotten belch of slander for all to see, for that matter. But I do have trustworthy sources that advise me of the contents of movies without me having to see them.

I suppose it’s kind’ve like cocaine. Don’t have to snort it to know it’s bad.

My point with Michelle Williams is that she was reared in a Christian home and went to a Christian school somewhere near San Diego. Her great acting talent was eventually noticed by Hollywood. When she had the chance to get more famous by being part of a movie hell bent on justifying perversion- she bit hard.

Now the unusual part. The principal of her alma mater, Santa Fe Christian headmaster Jim Hopson is distancing the school from ties with the actress. His words:

“Michelle doesn't represent the values of this institution. We would not approve of her movies and TV shows (including the teen drama “Dawson's Creek”). We'd not like to be tied to 'Brokeback Mountain.'

“I hope we offered her something in life. But she made the kinds of choices of which we wouldn't approve. 'Brokeback Mountain' basically promotes a lifestyle we don't promote. It's not the word of God.”

Good for him. And of course, he is coming under fire for him principled stand. How rare.

But I guess it is just sad to see an otherwise fine and talented person selling out big when they could have a chance to do good in the name of Christ. I would expect whoring for fame by all the Britney wannabees out there, but on the off chance that a Christian would be able to make a stand like that – it is disappointing.

It turns out that Michelle Williams has embraced Hollywood in another way, too. The article states that she will be at the Oscars with her fiancé, Heath Ledger while grandma watches their baby son at home.

Thanks Michelle!

Microsoft Windows

Fried Brain

My excuse for being absent is hard drive failure.

The laptop which actually contains my brain decided to corrupt and cost a week of productivity. Literally, I have learned to write in a day planner again and use a frickin’ pencil. Arghhh.

The Lord giveth and the Lord taketh away.

Anywho. Finally decided that I was not smart enough to fix it. I swallowed my pride and took it in to Alpine Computers. They quickly discovered a failed hard drive and had it replaced within three hours.

So now – Reconstruction. Kind’ve like post Civil War without the smells. Give me another few days and I will once again grace you four readers with some of the world’s best thought since Plato. Or is it Pluto – you know—the dog.

Whatever.

Drop the Pen!

Drop the Pen!

Drop the pen and put your hands above your head! Slowly turn around. You are under arrest for offending Muslims.

You have no right to remain silent and anything you say can and will be used against you step in front of the firing squad.

You have no rights to an attorney and even if you did, they would be paid government counsel and would only be an inconvenient formality.

Cartoonists beware! Kill the infidels!

Tribute to Islam

The legacy of Islam the religion in the 20th Century. How else do you know Islam?

Mushee Gushee on Torture

“Why Torture Is Always Wrong” is the latest headline from Christianity Today Magazine authored by David P. Gushee. This sentiment may make you feel good as a Christian reader but is profoundly misguided.

Why would anyone ever create a policy to weaken our ability to wage the war on terror?

In his introduction, Mr. Gushee quotes three news headlines claiming U.S. torture against terrorists: The New York Times, Newsweek and The Red Cross – all bastions of pro-American thought – yea right. This is the second red flag on Mr. Gushee’s political bias.

David P. Gushee, the author of this headline and article is so caught up in his Jimmy Carteresqe Christian pragmatism, he can’t see the obvious. His statement is axiomatic. Which is ironic – a moderate sentiment with no exceptions. Usually there are 100 shades of gray with moderates but not this time with Mr. Gushee.

To ignore the threat posed to us, especially after 9/11/2001, is profoundly naïve. To say that “torture is always wrong” is to say that hurting our enemies is always wrong. In reading his article, it is clear that Mr. Gushee’s torture policy is the same as the U.N. convention which reads:

“No exceptional circumstances whatsoever, whether a state of war or a threat of war, internal political instability or any other public emergency, may be invoked as a justification for torture."

This is outright crazy and dangerously naïve to the realities of war and peace. We all know how effective the U.N. is in punishing rogue nations who torture, mame and extinguish undesirables. Rwanda, Somalia, Iraq- anybody? Hmmm?

And what is torture, anyway?

"Al-Qatani was forced to perform dog tricks on a leash, was straddled by a female interrogator, forced to dance with a male interrogator, told that his mother and sister were whores, forced to wear a woman's bra and thong on his head during interrogation, and subjected to an unmuzzled dog to scare him."
Newsweek, November 21, 2005

I’m sorry- but that is not torture. Laying on a cold floor, food deprivation, not allowing Korans, sex games, 48 hours of Britney Spears – yes that would be suicidally annoying- but it is not torture. That is bread and butter porn in Amsterdam! Ya- there’s a thought- send in the U.N. blue bucket brigade into Amsterdam and shut down the smut houses.

Real torture (which is how I must distinguish it) would be anything close to unbearable pain whether physical or emotional. For examples of real torture I would recommend reading the Fox’s Book of Martyrs.

Let me moderate. I do not condone indiscriminate torture on inmates whether domestic or international. I would reserve real torture for imminent national security needs. That would include the “ticking time bomb” or any other situation where lives would otherwise be lost. Extreme danger would call for extreme measures including real torture. That is common sense.

For a visual (although, fictional) example of the proper use of torture, I recommend the Fox Television Networks show “24”, the fourth season, last episodes. This is the episode where Jack Bauer, counter terrorism agent, finds the Marwan, the terrorist responsible for launching a nuclear missle against Los Angeles and extracts information that would save the lives of millions of civilians.

Many things changed in the New Testament but God did not eliminate evil governments from this earth. Just because our dear country was founded under God, with liberty and justice for all did not eradicate the world of mad terrorists bent on imposing their will on all mankind.

The failure to see torture as a possible tool to be used in the most extreme of circumstances is to affirm a sort of Bill of Rights for terrorists.

Which is exactly what Mr. Gushee is doing in this article that Christianity Today decided to highlight as its cover piece?

Gushee’s bending and twisting of scripture to accommodate his peacenik stance on torture is frankly, embarrassing. It is another example of how many Christians fall into the liberal potholes and embrace policy that puts our nation at risk.

By the way, Mr. Gushee, America is not a “liberal democracy” as you say in your 2nd paragraph. America is a Constitutional Republic. A distinction you would do well to come to grips with. Maybe a more accurate statement would be that you, sir, are a “liberal democrat”.

QOD- Men With Three Names

Question of the Day (Henceforth QOD)

Why does it sound gay for a guy to have three names?  And it bugs me.  Granted I have not had my full cup of coffee yet.  Right now I’m watching a local Northern Michigan TV morning news show which shall go nameless.  The show has the guy and the girl telling us the local headlines.  The channel is owned by the same company that broke the forged documents story on 60 Minutes, but let me stop before I reveal the mystery.

He has three names and he looks gay, but I can’t be sure.  But his name sounds VERY gay.  Anyway, that got me to thinking about the original question.

Which brings up another question.  If you have gadar, does that mean you are gay?  I’m pretty sure that I have gadar, but sure that I’m not.  Just ask my wife – heh heh.

Please let me know your thoughts.

And Justice for All

Samuel Alito was sworn in as a U.S. Supreme Court justice today.

We tend to pray to God during strife and uncertainty. Now it’s time to give thanks.

Thank you Lord!

My Grandparents - 60 Years In Love

Well today marks the 60th wedding anniversary of my grandparents (mothers parents).

Sixty years in love with the same person, through ups and downs, through World War II, the Korean War, Vietnam War and the War in Iraq. Through the invention of the microwave, TV and Tivo.

The legacy of 60 years of being in love and loving the same person will be lasting and provide and example not only to me, but for generations to come.

Congratulations Grandma and Granpa H!

Imprimus- A Refreshing Read

Yesterday I received my first complimentary issue of Imprimus, the speech digest of Hillsdale College.  I think it is their primary public relations tool.  I can’t be sure, but if this is a gift of my Uncle D., then “thanks’ Uncle D!”

I am truly impressed by the contents.  First of all, my family lived in Hillsdale for a short while back in the late 80’s during my first few years at WMU (Western Michigan University).  During summers, I worked with my brother, Mike, at a McCall’s Lumber Yard just around the corner from Hillsdale College.

When I did live in Hillsdale, the college was very separate from the city.  While the city itself was primarily red-neckian we all knew that just outside the city up on the hill was a nationally recognized, Ivy Leagueish college.  I have always held Hillsdale College in high esteem.   My sentiments have been formed primarily by the accolades of Paul Harvey and William Bennett, but also a first cousin went there.

Another impression I have of Hillsdale College is that it is very expensive, but that is pure rumor and I have no substantiation of what tuition rates actually are.

Anyway --- Imprimus.

What a great read!  For those of you who don’t know – this is amazing.  Did you know that Hillsdale College was founded in 1855, eighteen years after Thomas Jefferson’s death?  It accepts NO FEDERAL FUNDING, has refused the governments Title IV compliance forms and is fiercely independent of federal dictums.  The point is that Hillsdale College does not need Federal (liberal) policy such as Affirmative Action to comply with Constitutional guarantees.  

The college charter is politically conservative, Constitutionally originalist and academically liberal (literal to the root meaning).

Its charter was the first in the nation to prohibit discrimination based on race, religion and sex.  Hillsdale College admitted blacks, women and American Indians two decades prior to the Civil War!

The meat of this particular essay, “Hillsdale and America” by Larry P. Arnn, is quite interesting.  The subject is that of academic independence, liberal biased professorships and the overall suppression of freely exchanged ideas on most university campi in America today.

The topic is especially timely as we conservatives engage in our next societal war – the war to get our educational system back.  We are defeating the liberal media and the liberal courts – now its time to take back the schools.

Anyway, I highly recommend this free publication, available here.  Hillsdale College would be on the top of my list to send any and all of my children to.  Check it out.

Pictorial Tribute to the UAW

Michigan Governor Grandholm

Hahahahahhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
LOL
Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha
(crying) hahahahahahahaha
LOL

Hahahah aha ha a a ha

Tee hee ee ee ee eee e ahaha ahha ahahhhha ahhahh ahhhh

(now screaming) HahahahahahahahahaHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHH AHAHHA HAHHAH AH

Thank you Lord!

Thank a Union

Headline Source: Reuters (Mon Jan 23, 2006 12:28 PM ET)
FORD TO CUT 25,000-30,000 JOBS

GM, Delphi and now Ford have laid off thousands upon thousands of workers, closed factories and destroyed communities. Thank a union!

How could I know at an instinctive, subconscious level, even back in high school that one day, the unions would destroy their employers, communities and themselves? How could a common-sense zit-faced boy in 1987 know this but the entire city of Detroit not? Huh?

I lived in Detroit (Redford) for only 5 years and saw the excess. I had to sell to union locals but had to park my Toyota Camry six lots away because “Foreign Cars Are Not Allowed On Our Lot”. Here is the sign they should have erected in the lot instead:

BUY OUR CRAPPY AUTOMOBLIES THAT BARELY MEET GOVERNMENT STANDARDS. WE KNOW YOU COULD BUY MUCH BETTER JAPANESE PRODUCTS, BUT SINCE YOU NEED TO SUPPORT OUR LIFESTYLE WITHIN THE SKEWED BUBBLE ECONOMY OF DETROIT, PLEASE DO NOT DRIVE YOUR FASTLY SUPERIOR TOYOTA ONTO OUR LOT THAT REMINDS US OF HOW LAZY WE ARE.

What do I know about the UAW?

Starting wages: Source: Detroit News 8/9/2005.
At major Detroit automakers, the hourly rate for an assembler is $25.57; a janitor starts at $24.98, and tool and die workers start at $30 an hour. Along with diamond studded benefits, retirement plans and golden parachutes, it is no wonder that the Big 3 cannot maintain the cost of production.

Worker Laziness
Not all but many workers for years have put in 8 hours on the clock, but not on the job. My dad drove a truck to deliver parts for the Big 3. If his truck was partially unloaded at break time, the workers would abandon my dad’s truck making him late for his other appointments. I’m sure many of you could tell much better stories than this.

Inefficiency
Many situations would go something like this:

1. Machine part breaks


2. Knowledgeable employee standing there knows how to fix it quickly


3. Knowledgeable employee is told “no”, the maintenance guy has to fix it and he won’t be in for 3 hours.


4. Knowledgeable employee (and crew) gets to sit until part is repaired.

My wife and I owned or drove the following vehicles:

1976 Chevy Vega – many great memories, but crap
1988 Dodge Colt - crap
1989 Pontiac Grand Am – crap, crap
1993 Mercury Villager - crap
1995 Ford Windstar – crap, crap
1998 Plymouth Grand Voyager - crap

NEVER, EVER will we again own a Big 3 vehicle. The materials, handling, look, reliability of these vehicles has been terrible. The workmanship of union hands is evident in all those cars. I would write our a repair and recall history of each union made vehicle, but there are not enough gigabytes on this computer to list them all.

We bought a new Toyota Camry in 1993 and it is still driving well past 230,000 miles. Over 9 times around the earth at the equator! That’s from the earth to the moon! Only if there was a road! Now we are happy owners of a 2005 Honda Odyssey which is marvelous beyond words.

Maybe the UAW will never get the message but I have. As long as the UAW hijacks the American automobile industry, people will continue to flock to superior made vehicles.

Ford should have changed their logo forty years ago. Here are some suggestions for what they SHOULD have made it:

“UAW Benefits are Job #1”
“We Meet Government Standards”
“Buy a Ford, Support a Democrat”

If Ford does survive the tapeworm effect of the UAW maybe someday they will aspire to quality being job #1.

Preface to Thank a Union

Preface to “Thank a Union” Post

My hyperbole on being right most of the time, as is a previous post, though funny to some, I’m sure is irritating to most --which is what I strive for, frankly. If there is some way for me to extract humor out of sarcasm or someone’s discomfort, I am happy. That is why girly men cannot read my blog. LOL

This is not to say that I am not woefully insufficient myself. Au contraire. Most people know me to laugh at myself for many things including my pear shaped physique, bald head, Farleyesque sense of humor and quick admission to being “an idiot” when I screw up.

So for those of you who do not know Marcus – the man, please take my biting wit with a grain of salt. While I admire and love Ann Coulter, I’m not really sure if she has another side (something other than bitingly hostile to liberals).

OK- on to my post.

Lazy Day of Summer

Lazy Day of Summer

The winds doth blow around my head
To carry forth the bug and petal.
The crickets lay upon their bed
And to this peace they settle.

The sound of a lonely day gone by
The grass and trees hold testament.
Of those that here did laugh and cry
To dream of a world in betterment.


This poem was written in the summer of 2004 in Hillman, MI as I was sitting in my car down a lonely dirt road and parked underneath a giant oak. It was my lunch break in-between fundraiser launches at a nearby school. Since then until today, this poem has remained in my notepad portfolio. I decided to preserve it here before the paper gets destroyed.

So Are We Going To Fight, Or What?

So Are We Going To Fight, Or What?

Maybe an analogy of America being the righteous nation naming its enemies would be that of the Israelites of the Old Testament.  Israel was the nation led by God for His purpose against the wiles of evil nations.

After all we are a nation that stands for universal righteousness in the area of freedom and justice.  We also believe that those things are universally true, “axioms” if you will.  For us, tyranny, despotism and fascism are immoral, intolerable scourges as we see them in Iran, Syria and North Korea.  But while the drumbeat of war against Iran gets louder, it does so with the pseudo apologies and nauseous explanations of the president.

When I turn to cable news or read the latest RSS feed on world headlines, I can’t read about the latest threat of Iran without the parenthetical “Islam is a peaceful religion” overtones.  Even our own Secretary of State and President are looking over their shoulders for the thought police.

When will Americans get a backbone and unapologetically proclaim “freedom and justice FOR ALL?”

Islam is in a tough spot.  Either it IS a religion of suicidal maniacs or it IS a religion hijacked by suicidal maniacs.  Where are the peaceful Muslims?  Where is their outcry?  Where are their armies?  Where are the peaceful Islamic governments?

The truth:  they are not there.  Islam is a false religion started by a false prophet.  It is only tradition that keeps it living.  Resentment against progress and industry is the result of a religion hell bent on keeping things the same as they have been for 2,500 years.

Back to my point- why can’t American officials act out of conviction instead political correctness?  Why can’t George Bush just state the obvious?—

Declare war on Iran, destroy the country, convert them all the Buddhists, then send in the Christian missionaries.

Sounds like a plan to me.

Al Gore's Kindergarten Speech

Al Gore’s Kindergarten Speech

WASHINGTON (AP) -- Former Vice President Al Gore called Monday for an independent investigation of President Bush's domestic spying program, contending the president "repeatedly and insistently" broke the law by eavesdropping on Americans without court approval.

By LARRY MARGASAK
Associated Press Writer
1/16/2006

To negate every theme in Al Gore’s speech yesterday would be to clean the posterior of a housefly after each bowel movement over its 25 day lifespan.

That’s the Christian way of saying something else. But since this blog is read by beloved relatives and otherwise puritan souls, I'll keep my thoughts vague but picturesque.

Suffice it to say, more intellectual matter is emitted in a gaseous state after a curry dinner than what was muttered by the “the Gore”.

Ah, the Sun

Ah, the Sun

What a great week to get back on the road selling.  How refreshing to get in front of new people, out on the road.  How awesome to get new schools calling again.  How rewarding to hear Kaylee (6) reading her devotions tonight.

My, how exhausted I am again.  This is great!

Girly Men In Conservative Clothing

Girly Men In Conservative Clothing

I am thankful for good close friends here. Some of the many characteristics that appeal to me in close friends are the following:

• Very wide and irreverent sense of humor


• Loyalty


• Similar socio-political values

But something lately has been bothering me that I have absolutely no intention of revealing privately because it is really not that important in the grand scheme of things. But since this blog is essentially a diary, public though it may be, I feel the need to vent in this indirect fashion.

Some of these friends have a “namby-pamby” limp wrested approach to issues. For instance, take church praise songs. Is there such a thing? Some say “no”. Anything goes. The subtext here is fear of making a decision or taking a stand. To stand for something that others may find objectionable is too scary. Too “judgmental”. Too “narrow minded”. They wouldn’t be caught dead making a value judgment. These are akin to being a political moderate, looking for the position that will affect the least debate.

Another subject would be the inability of church leaders remedy situations of conflict within the church because they are fearful of ruffling feathers. They are fearful if they take a stand to fix something, they might be looked at as the “trouble maker.” So the problems go uncorrected and the plastic smiles perpetuate.

And finally, the people who are aghast that I would EVER drive over 70 MPH on the freeway or find out that I occasionally put my seat-belt on oh, 3 or 4 miles into my journey. These feminized males who look at me as though I have just violated a black handicapped Jewish gay female during Kwanza.

Sometimes I wonder about the sheltered life these grown men lead – their inability to experience anything outside of the cocoon their mommy and daddy built for them.

A truly good experience for any of these girly men would be to spend a little time in a 3rd world country for a few weeks. It probably wouldn’t produce a full conversion but would be a good start.

NWA - #2

Well, I made it back home- barely. Northwest Airlines is the bottom of the barrel. When they gave me two $5 meal vouchers for my “inconvenience” in Traverse City (9 hour delay- that is) I expected to be able to use one on the trip to Dallas and one on the way back.

Nada.

In Detroit on the way back home, I took the 2nd voucher up to get a sandwich and was it was rejected due the fact that the voucher is only good for 24 hours. So I went to a NWA agent and asked for it to be redeemed for a new one. Nope.

These employees have no power to affect happy customers even when it means thinking outside of their little box. Most of these employees are good people I’m sure, but the airline is just the absolute worst service organization I have ever experienced.

Dethawed and Overexaggerated

I listened to NPR news this morning on my way to the airport. The main topic at hand is the 12 coal miners that died yesterday (or very early this morning) in West Virginia. The big controversy is that at around midnight they were “found to be alive”, then when I woke up at 4:55 this morning they were all found to be dead.

The NPR man said that that original information had been “misconstrued” and miscommunicated. As I type this in Microsoft Word, these preceding two words have been underlined with a squiggly red line meaning that they are not in the dictionary.

Which is my point.

This coal miner story is an unspeakable tragedy but my topic at hand is of journalistic weakness and illiteracy.

This morning on Fox News, CNN and MSNBC (and NPR) all the talking heads spoke of a miscommunication. What is miscommunication?

• An error in the material communicated?


• A technical interruption of the material being transmitted?


• A swear word?


• Information that one didn’t mean to say?


• A fact that was once true but later became false?


• A lie?


• An involuntary bodily sound?

It turns out that the miners were dead. The headlines at midnight were FALSE. Not “miscommunicated”. FALSE.

The networks broadcasted a lie – pure and simple. Notice I didn’t say “they lied”. The news had not corroborated with authorities or with the source of the “they are alive” proclamation. Just like the cheering crowds behind them, the news organizations swallowed the story whole.

The second issue is meaningless words. If there is only one profession left in our society that demands proper vocabulary and grammar, shouldn’t it be journalism?

Forget public schools, proper English education disappeared decades ago. I would hope there would be just one place left that could preserve the English language properly, somewhere besides the Jeopardy show.

I sincerely hope that my oFten (with the “f” sound) repeatedly overredundant phraseology is making a dent and that I am not overexaggerating my point. I shall now enter the airport terminal and dethaw from the terrible cold.

Northwest Airlines: A Comedy of Errors

This post is an example of restraint. I could throw a tantrum here at the Northwest counter as I see others doing. But me? I have a blog.

We can put a man on the moon, experience wireless internet and make hydrogen powered cars, but can we can start an airplane, heck no.

OK let me make this as simple as possible. My flight out of Traverse City was supposed to leave at 8AM. We were all on the plane (SAAB turbo prop) but the engine wouldn’t roll over. So according to FAA guidelines they had one more attempt to use up before calling up maintenance. The second attempt didn’t work. So we deplaned.

Then after sitting at the gate for 40 minutes we were told the flight was cancelled and to go back to the front check-in counter and find out what to do.

While in line at the check-in counter I heard another announcement that a new power cable to fix the generator was being flown in and the plane should be ready to board by 11:15. Being that my connecting flight in Detroit is at 12:15 maybe I could still make the Dallas connection to be on time for my 5PM meeting.

Well right now it is 11:21 and I am looking out of these great big windows here in the waiting area and down below is a bunch of maintenance guys talking to each other, drinking coffee and laughing. The new cable is laying there on the luggage belt still spooled and untouched.

Yes, I believe the NWA maintenance folks are on strike, which brings up my thoughts on unions expressed in a previous post.

In the meantime another NWA flight to Detroit scheduled to depart at 10AM has left. We are still here. Does this make any sense? The folks with a later flight are already gone and we are still sitting here. Why didn’t NWA put us on that flight and make the other folks wait so we could spread the misery a little more equally?

With the hassles this morning I could be bought off with a free ticket or something, but NWA will do no such thing. “Because their policy dictates bla bla bla”.

I used to have a modicum of respect for NWA but at this point, after years of hearing horror stories and now experiencing one, I am switching.

I plan to buy one more NWA ticket after this to get up to my 25,000 miles so that I can earn a free ticket.

Then I’m gone.

///

Update: I arrived in Dallas at 8PM. Seven hours late.

NFL Football

NFL Football

OK- here I go again.  Another rant and this time I know that this will alienate almost everybody I know --even my own father and brother.  So I am fully ready to be blasted.  But this is my blog and as such I will move ahead.

I do not see what the fascination is with football in general and the NFL in particular.  By nature I am competitive as in my career and other areas – but I do not understand the TIME many sports fans invest in watching games, keeping up with stats and endlessly talk about it.  From what I see in many friends, it is a single-minded obsession.

I remember the 1987 Pistons and was tremendously excited about their streak of winning seasons.  I watched every game of the semi-finals and of course, the finals.  So in that respect I can get very excited about my home team or if there is an outstanding player that is just entertaining to watch (like Michael Jordan), I will tune in.

What I am referring to here is the time invested in the NFL’s regular season.  Hours and hours of watching TV and Fantasy Football clubs – it’s crazy.  I simply do not get it.  I would rather do woodworking, play with my kids, swim, write, read, play music, hunt, fish… WHATEVER!

But that is our culture’s call.  The NFL is the rallying cry around the water cooler.  It’s second most popular conversation starter, after the weather.  

I remember a class I took while in college, an introduction to cultural anthropology.  I didn’t particularly enjoy the class or the professor but he did teach me two things which I remember all these years later.  First, he taught me about the Namibian culture of southern Africa and secondly, about the intellectual futility of watching a group of men running around wooden floor for the sole purpose of getting a 12” ball of orange leather into a steel ring.

I mean think about it.  How desperate and unfulfilled must one’s life be to obsess with watching an inflatable elliptical pig skin crossing an imaginary line on the ground.

People are dying in Somalia for crying out loud.  At least go shovel the snow, mow the grass or do something useful for goodness sake!

Now I am not saying or implying that I do not have obsessions.  On the contrary, my obsession right at this minute is writing a useless blog that no one reads.  My personality demands that my obsessions move from one subject to another.  Ten years ago I was obsessed with hi-fi gear, then I was obsessed with computers, then cameras, then slide scanning, then fishing, then something else.  But they all had an end.  It was time to move on.


The simple fact is that I just don’t get the obsession about the NFL.  There have been many times that I had to question my masculinity with guys that were frothing over last night’s game.  Politics, weather –please anything other than who beat who last night.

My contributions to such conversations usually fall along the lines of “man, Adrian Dantley was a great free-throw shooter, wasn’t he?”  I get laughs, which is precisely how I deflect my ignorance.

The obsession with the NFL that I witness currently, concerns me in that it is all a break from reality – a total disconnect with real life.  You can enter the fantasy world of football and forget your job, your problems, et al.

I’m sure you would say back to me – “that’s the point!”  And to that I would have to admire you for being honest.

Maybe a better analogy would be to speak of my enjoyment of watching movies.  I do enjoy good a good flick on the big screen downstairs as much as Siskel and Ebert – but I have no desire to look up the actors on the internet to get their bios, film credits, educational background – nor do I wish to join their fan clubs!

I get plugged in for the movie then unplug after it’s done.  Isn’t that the way it should be done?  Hmm- maybe I am missing something.

I also think there is a spiritual issue with obsessing.  What is the difference between a subject of obsession and idolatry?  You tell me.

I can see your hackles, but that’s the way I see it.  

And what about this thing about watching every Lions game?  How can anyone watch the Lions week in and week out and not get clinically depressed?

I don’t get it.

Blog Retrospective

In revising this blog, it has come to be self-evident that most of the subject matter I have approached has come from a position of ire and would make me out to be of an unpleasant disposition. Clearly, for someone who has not held my acquaintance personally this would be a logical conclusion.

So let me state for the record, that I am a jovial, fun loving unpretentious lad who seeks world harmony. I shall in the future take it upon myself to explore the levity to which I also aspire.

Email Newbies

Once upon a time in a land far, far away there lived a woman named Mrs. Smith. She lived in a small house, in a small neighborhood, in a small town in the great big U.S.

Mrs. Smith was a baby boomer who one day decided that she needed to learn how to use a computer. So one evening while watching TV, Mrs. Smith saw a commercial on a video system to teach her how to use a computer. The man in the advertisement looked trustworthy and even promised to refund her shipping fee if she wasn’t satisfied.

So Mrs. Smith got her new computer and the local big box store and brought it home to set it up. After 13 hours on the phone with the support technician, she learned how to turn it on.

Lo and behold, there was this really neat thing called AOL on her desktop that was her ticket to the World Wide Web. WOW. Now Mrs. Smith could go explore the whole world at her fingertips.

Not too long later, Mrs. Smith heard the sound “You got mail” – which was really, really neat. It just sounded so personal, like someone was paying attention to her. Just the sound of “You got mail” seemed to give her significance. Every time it sounded it boosted her important self esteem just a little more.

It was so neat that people all over the world were sending her offers for quick college degrees, body enlargements, and chat partners genuinely interested in getting to know her. Wow – this was so neat!

But what was the neatest thing of all was that if an email that was really funny, or really cute, or seemingly significant– Mrs. Smith could send it to someone special with just the click of a button.

And not only one person- she could send it to EVERYONE in her address book!

Wow- now EVERYONE could experience the same joyous, ecstatic, revelational moment that Mrs. Smith had with just the click of a button.

But not only that! Mrs. Smith learned how to forward surveys and petitions to everyone. So now all could see how civically conscious she was.

There was the petition to:

• stop the genocide in Rwanda
  
• impeach Bill Clinton
  
• hug your teacher
  
• establish a new national holiday to honor Baby Boomers
  
• stop an internet tax
  
• pass a anti-spam law
  
• let every congressman in the Northern Hemisphere know your thought on abortion
  
• promote world peace
  
• eradicate AIDS
  
• cure cancer
  
• and stop global warming

But what Mrs. Smith REALLY loved was this brand new invention called the electronic greeting card.

No longer did she have to go down to the gift shop and actually spend money to buy a greeting card, actually WRITE in it then go through the hassle of mailing it.

Now she could just put someone’s email address on it – and SHAZAM- it was all done. These electronic greeting cards were so neat because they actually moved and looked SO CUTE.

Then Mrs. Smith sent EVERYONE an electronic greeting card which let them know how much she cared.

Well time passed, and soon all of Mrs. Smith’s friends were getting emails every day with some joke, thought of the day, greeting card or petition.

But Mrs. Smith didn’t realize that many of her friends were ones who had been using computers beginning in grade school.

These non-Baby Boomer friends, were not enamored of the concept of email. For them, it was a normal form of communication that can easily be used and potentially misused. After all, they understood that since people use their email every day for business and pleasure it was a tool to be used prudently.

Soon the recipients realized that it was rare if ever that they got a real and personal message from Mrs. Smith. So they decided for the sake of keeping their INBOX clean, to simply relegate Mrs. Smiths email address to the spam catcher and she was never heard from again.

The end.

If it’s not worth putting a stamp on—it’s not worth emailing!

Koran vs. Bible – A Moral Equivalence?

In a rush to remove an hint of religious “discrimination” following the mass murder of September 11, 2001, voices from the left clamored to defend Islam as peaceful. The apparent goal was to remove Islam as a mitigating factor in the zeal to “kill the infidels”. That’s right- Islam had nothing to do with 9/11. According to the popular media, these were just crazed lunatics with absolutely no motivation other than an unpleasant disposition.

But for the record- all of the terrorists on 9/11 were devoted followers of Islam.

Racial profiling has become a sin second only to killing an endangered species. Many would have us believe that Islam is inherently neutral and equal to Christianity. So it has been implied that we have no right to discern Islam culture, tradition and dogma in fighting the war on terror.

But not only has there been a rush to defend Islam, but there also continues to be a persecution of the Christian faith in public culture (exposed in Persecution by David Limbaugh). Over the past thirty years, Christians have been told to give up their faith in public schools and court buildings. Praying in public has become equivalent to the public consumption of tobacco products – cursed and repudiated by the left.

In fact, the American political system and military does not proselytize the Bible or the Christian faith - even though a majority of Americans do profess a belief in the God of the Bible. We seek not to conquer and convert as most Islamic countries have done even to this very generation.

But the latest incarnation of this bias against Christianity is the situation in Gitmo prison in Cuba. Dick Durbin opened his mouth on the floor of the U.S. Senate this past Friday and equated the Gitmo prison to "Nazis, Soviets in their gulags or some mad regime — Pol Pot or others."

But on closer look the American military took great measures to respect the Koran and Islamic traditions of these illegal combatants. According to reports, these measures included:

• Providing Korans to detainees
• Wearing gloves to handle the Korans
• Providing proper Islamic food
• Allowing these combatants to practice their religion

These are all activities that would have the ACLU filing lawsuits if practiced in any American public school.

The Democratic party has been highjacked by the most liberal and extreme of their party. No longer is it a noble party that represents the people as it once was under John F. Kennedy. It has become a party that seeks to undermine our national security and seeks to find constitutional rights for foreign terrorists.

The hypocrisy on the left is building towards a breaking point. The only question now is when the liberals will implode upon themselves.

Evolution Hallelujah!

Evolution is a massive religion. A religion preached in textbooks, atlases, kids books and classrooms.

The theory of evolution is unproven and unprovable. The theory it self has become scientific fact for generations of zombies unwilling to question anything coming from state run schools. These are the same people who would believe in the authenticity Rathergate memo and the danger of Ford gas tank explosions. These are the same people who believe that we will all die as a result of global warming. And that 2nd hand smoke is the biggest threat to health in the universe.

No lie is big enough to reject for these closed-minded believers.

I am not a scientist, theologian or historian but I do possess a modicum of common sense (thanks to my parents). But last time I checked, evolution is simply not provable - therefore not scientific.

So then WHY does my new 2004 Illustrated Atlas refer to evolution, the "Big Bang", pangea and "billion and billion of years" as ALL FACT?

Anyone who is willing to put a a fleeting thought into the Big Bang would ask- What existed before the Big Bang? What elements caused the Big Bang to occur?

STOP - no changing the subject, no distractions, no calling me a religious fanatic, no dodging the question.

Hmmmmmmm? I hear crickets!

There- you see. There had to be a CREATOR. There are no other options! That's it. Case closed. Gavel dropped!

All you leftist hippies and secular humanists have lost the argument. The plain and simple truth is that you reject Intelligent Design because you reject that there just may be someone else out there that is smarter that you.

Yes, for there to be Intelligent Design there must be a DESIGNER. Now for me it happens to be God. But for you it may be Howdie Doody or David Koresh. Who knows it could even be Bill Clinton if that's what you want.

So I long for the day when all this evolution garbage is destroyed once and for all. When common sense can get a majority vote in this country.

But it won't happen until public education decides to embrace logic, science and truth and present all theories as faith and only faith.

Yasser Arafat -- Father of Terrorism

Today the Father of Terrorism died a quiet death.

He was not a good or decent man.

2004 Election Scorecard

THE LOSERS

1. Michael Moore
2. George Soros
3. Air America
4. Al Franken
5. Al Gore
6. The New York Times
7. CBS
8. NBS
9. ABS
10. CNNBS
11. The Dixie Chicks
12. Linda Ronstadt
13. Eminem
14. P Diddly Dipcrap “for brains”
15. Michael Moore
16. Elton John
17. Jacques Chirac
18. Jean Chrétien
19. Michael Moore
20. Theresa “Shove It” Heinz Kerry
21. John “Flip Flop” Kerry
22. The “Breck Girl”
23. Joe Lockhart
24. Paul “The Forehead” Begala
25. Michael Moore
26. Evan Thomas
27. The Los Angeles Times
28. Massachusetts
29. Rhode Island
30. Every American with a Kerry-Edwards sign in their yard
31. Michael Moore
32. Baby Murderer advocates everywhere
33. Osama bin Laden
34. Michael Moore
35. Saddam Hussein
36. Bruce Spreengsteen
37. Michael Moore
38. Ben Awfulfleck
39. Michael Moore

THE WINNERS

1. United States of America

Red States - Sic 'em

Be patriotic.

Kill the Smurfs.

Be red and proud.

God Bless America.

Half

Half of everyone you know is an idiot. Clinically insane.

Who Should Vote?

I propose a new law.

Only landowners with a minimum education of a GED should vote.