Electronic Spittle

Let's call him “Bob”.

Bob is a “close talker”. He feels compelled to communicate only when his face is within 18 inches of yours. Friendly, mind you-but void of a social sense. The occasional spittle may land on your cheek- but you buck up for the sake of conviviality. Your eyes dart to the left and right of his face to see if innocent passerbys' are also privy to the conversation - not quite sure what they think of Bob's opinion of “the lady in the black swimsuit who was tanning on her dock”.

Your peripheral vision is a panorama of mostly sensible folks hearing every word and scurrying to a safe location as to not be the next one cornered.

Bob wants you to know that he knows. What he know. Why he knows. And you didn't know. But everyone knows. And even if Bob knows what everyone really knows, he would still let you know.

Email spam. Had to confront it again today. An employee in my company began sending cute thoughts for the day to me. I thought, “oh no” is he sending this to management, too? Yep. The distribution list had about 100 names and addresses and nothing hidden, exposing company (business) email addresses to every imaginable spammer.
Last week it was an e-greeting card (the height of annoying unsacrificial patronage). This morning it was cute birthday songs the year I was born.

I had to email him back and break the news gently. “Probably isn't a good idea to send this stuff to employees...”, yada yada yada - skirting my actual personal hate of electronic pap.

What ever happened to common sense etiquette?! It is AMAZING to me it never crosses the mind of a well meaning “spammer”

1. Does this person care about this email I am about to send?

2. What will people think about me after I send this?

Nope- never dawns on them. Let's call them spappers. Emphasis on “pap”.

pap1-noun
1. Material lacking real value or substance: TV shows that offer nothing but pap.
2. An idea, talk, book, or the like, lacking substance or real value.

[Origin: 1400-50; late ME; a nursery word akin to D pap, G Pappe, L, It pappa]-Related forms -paplike, adjective

For most spappers, it's easy just create an email rule to automatically delete the message from the server. But when you have a business employee that may have a legitimate business message- you can't delete that potentially important message.

Someone needs to update Emily Post's quintessential 1922 classic: Etiquette in Society, in Business, in Politics and at Home.

At least add a chapter themed: “Email only what you are willing to voice call.”

One Bob isn't so bad. Bob times hundreds can lead to a real headache.